


Just Across The Hall

by themrp123



Category: Game Grumps
Genre: Alternate Universe - Teachers, Angst, Eating Disorders, M/M, Romance, Tragedy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-01
Updated: 2016-07-27
Packaged: 2018-06-05 13:23:41
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 22,558
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6706066
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/themrp123/pseuds/themrp123
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Here is a story in which Arin and Dan are teachers in the same school and then they fall in love. Trigger warning: Dan has an eating disorder that plays a large part in the plot of this story.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Never Too Late

**Author's Note:**

> These motherfuckers keep making me feel feelings. I saw the idea for the teacher thing on tumblr and decided to write it. I don't know where it's going; there will most definitely be smut involved, but I don't know if this story will be more cute or more serious. Probably a mix of both. Enjoy!

_BEEP BEEP BEEP_

“Ugggghhhhh.” A very groggy Dan poked the Snooze button on his alarm clock and rolled back over.

Five minutes later…

  
_BEEP BEEP BEE_ -

  
“Alright, alright, I’ll fuckin’ get up, Jesus Christ!”

  
Who knew being a choir teacher in your late thirties would make you so incredibly tired all the time?

  
Dan - well, Mr. Avidan, to his students - literally rolled out of bed and onto the floor, bringing his blankets with him. He lay there a moment before managing to push himself up and onto his feet.

  
With the speed and grace of a zombie, Dan slogged into the bathroom and bumbled into the shower. Getting up at 5 AM never got any easier, no matter how many years he’d been doing it. Worse, it was Monday. You’d never guess, but Mondays were just as torturous for teachers as they were for students.

  
“At least I love my kids,” Dan mumbled to himself as hot water cascaded down his back and chest.

  
It was true. Being a teacher was extremely difficult, but at least Dan’s students were absolute twelve-and-thirteen-year-old darlings. He loved them all and would be sad to see them go on to high school.

  
Dan smiled at the thought of his students. Not one of them was rude or stupid, and they all seemed to respect him. Steam surrounded him, filling the bathroom, as his thoughts wandered to something - or rather, someone - that made his smile grow even larger.

  
Mr. Arin Hanson.

  
Arin was the art teacher who’s classroom was across the hall. He had become Dan’s best friend over the years that they’d worked there, and just last year Dan had begun to develop feelings for him. Arin was gorgeous, with long dark hair and big brown eyes. He was a very, very talented artist. During breaks, Dan and Arin would always hang out in one of their classrooms and chat or listen to music. Dan cherished every moment he spent with Arin, but he wasn’t sure if the art teacher shared his feelings.

  
Dan sighed and dried himself off, eyeing his form in the mirror. Had he gained more weight since the last time he looked? He’d always been skinny, of course… but had he become _less_ skinny?

Dan shook his head at himself. _I’ll lose the weight today. I will._

A while later, Dan was straightening his tie in the mirror. Once satisfied with his outfit, he took a deep breath and put on a confident smile. He lifted his arm to check his watch and yelled “SHIT!” when he saw that he was supposed to be on the road twenty minutes ago.

  
Dan snatched his keys off of the counter and was speeding off in his shitty car without bothering to grab coffee or breakfast.

* * *

 

Sweating and panting, Dan jogged into his classroom, checking the time. He didn’t want to screw up his perfect attendance record for no real reason.

  
_Thank God_. He was right on time.

  
Dan blew out a breath and collapsed in his rolling chair, squeezing his eyes shut and massaging his temples, where a headache had materialized.

  
There was a soft knock on the door and a gentle, feminine call of, “Mr. Avidan?”

  
“Come on in!” Dan fought off his annoyance and pasted his smile back on when one of his students, Kiara, stepped into the room and closed the door behind her. She had a cup of Starbucks coffee in one hand and a pack of mini donuts in the other.

  
“H-Hi, Mr. Avidan,” the girl practically whispered.

  
“Hey there, Kiara. How’s it going?” Dan smiled brightly at the girl and offered her a chair in front of his desk.

  
“I’m okay. What about y-you?” She curled into a ball on the seat.

  
You’d never guess it, but Kiara had the strongest, sassiest belt voice of any of the girls in the choir. She was the shyest member of the choir, but was also - in Dan’s opinion - the most talented. She was one of Dan’s ultimate favorites.

  
“I’m pretty good.” Dan lifted his eyeglasses from his desk and perched them on his nose.

  
“Um, I - I brought you some coffee and food. It’s n-not much, but I thought you would, uh, like it. Because you didn’t walk in with coffee or breakfast.”

  
“That’s so sweet of you, Ki! But… how’d you get this stuff?”

  
“Oh, I brought it for me, but you can have it. I don’t need it.” Kiara wrapped her Jack Skellington-dainty arms around her knees. She looked so tiny, her sheet of silky black hair seeming to surround her, to swaddle her like a cloak. Her sad doe eyes peeked up at Dan, and she looked almost afraid.

  
“I can’t take this stuff, Ki. It’s for you.”

  
Kiara shook her head adamantly. “I want you to have it.” It was the strongest she’d sounded so far.

  
“Alright. This is very sweet of you, Kiara. Thank you.” Dan stood to give her a hug, pulling her twiglike body into his own.

  
“Also,” she said when they parted, “I have a message from Mr. Hanson.”

  
“Oh.” Dan felt a blush glowing on his cheeks. A message? From Arin?

  
Kiara pulled a folded sticky note out of her back pocket and handed it to Dan. “I didn’t read it, I promise,” she whispered.

  
“Thank you for this.” Dan squeezed Kiara’s hand. “You should probably be heading to homeroom. The bell’s gonna ring any minute. But thank you so much for everything. See you in Period 4!” Dan waved her out the door, his face - and his heart - smiling.

  
Once the door was shut, Dan returned to his seat and opened the note.

  
_Dan,_  
_Wanna join me for lunch in my classroom today? I have something to show you ;)_  
_Love, Arin_

  
Dan actually squealed. Was this a lunch date!? And he signed it with LOVE!

  
Dan’s overjoyed expression fell when his gaze dropped to the coffee and donuts on his desk. It was so nice of Kiara to bring that stuff, and he was totally grateful, but… it wasn’t right for him to take it, was it? She had brought it for herself, after all. This was stealing. Wasn’t it?

  
Dan hesitantly picked up the donuts and flipped the package over to look at the calorie count. Too much. He dropped the plastic-wrapped package as if it contained toxic material and ignored the grumbling in his stomach. He wouldn’t be eating that.

  
_I’m not hungry_ , he told himself. And Arin’s note was enough to give him energy; he didn’t need caffeine.

  
Swallowing saliva once to get rid of the tiny stab of guilt, Dan tossed Kiara’s gifts into the trash.

* * *

 

Lunchtime rolled around. Dan had just finished teaching Kiara's class, and her clear voice had rung out above everyone else's. When the girl was in the zone, her shyness melted away, and she looked like she belonged onstage.

Once the last student had left, Dan checked his reflection in the compact mirror he kept on his desk. There were dark circles under his eyes, but they weren't too obvious. His curly mass of brown hair was rumpled, but it always was. At least he was smiling. 

Dan headed across the hall, knocking daintily on Arin's classroom door. Through the small slat of glass in the door, Dan could see Arin hurrying over to open it. 

"Hey," the art teacher said as he pulled open the door, grinning at Dan like nothing could ever make him happier.

"Hi, Ar!" Dan's bad mood from earlier melted away, and he felt himself smiling at Arin.

"C'mon in!" Arin closed the door behind Dan. "How's your day going?"

"Eh, it's going." Dan shrugged, collapsing gracefully into the chair that always sat in front of Arin's desk. "Yours?"

Arin flopped into his rolling chair, across from Dan. "Not much better."

They shared a sympathetic look. 

Arin eyed Dans empty hands. "You didn't bring any lunch?"

"No, I - I had a big breakfast. I'm not hungry." Dan tried his best not to blush or stutter. He prayed that Arin wouldn't guess that he was lying.

"At least have my apple," Arin offered, holding out the gleaming fruit. It looked delicious, especially when Dan imagined biting into it, how sweet it would taste, how he'd not be able to stop himself from eating the whole thing, and then maybe he wouldn't be so hungry...

"I couldn't. That's yours." Dan drew his knees up to his chest and wrapped his arms around them.

"You sure, hon?"

"I'm fine." Dan mustered up all of the firmness he had. He still felt himself blushing at Arin's calling him 'hon', though.

"Alright. But really, Dan, make sure you eat when you get home, okay?" Arin reached across the desk for Dan's hand and squeezed it.

"Of course." Dan knew he wouldn't be doing that. But he smiled anyway. "So," he started, wanting desperately to change the subject, "have any amazing new art to show me?"

Arin's cheeks flushed. "Well, I wouldn't say amazing, but..."

They spent the rest of lunch flipping through Arin's sketchbook, joking around and giggling, with Dan admiring Arin's work, Arin accepting his compliments with embarrassed smiles. 

* * *

 

After school, Dan jogged out to his car, wanting to squeeze as much exercise as possible into his day. He grinned when he saw that Arin was parked next to him. The art teacher was trying and failing to get a sticky note to stick to Dan's car window.

"Hey there, Big Cat!" Dan called, waving.

Arin's face was bright pink. "Hey there, Danny." He smiled sheepishly and handed the sticky note to Dan. "I was trying to be romantic and leave this on your car, but the sticky note is just a note now. All the sticky is gone."

Dan laughed, reading the note quickly. _Lunch again tomorrow, kitten?_

"Definitely!" Dan threw his arms around Arin, making them both stumble back a couple steps. Arin, laughing, lifted Dan off his feet and swung him around like he was five years old. The two giggled. Something about being friends in their thirties while acting like a new teen couple was hysterically funny to them. 

"See you tomorrow, babe," Dan said, Arin's infectious laugh only making him laugh harder and harder.

"Tomorrow! And hey! Remember to eat!" Arin ruffled Dan's hair before climbing into his car and blowing Dan a kiss out the window. Dan mimed catching the kiss in the air, then fluttered his fingers in a little wave goodbye to Arin before unlocking his own car.

Dan blew out a breath, letting his head bang into the steering wheel. The horn sounded across the parking lot, but Dan didn't care. He was too tired. His stomach grumbled at him, reminding him that he hadn't eaten since that banana he'd had last night... _Maybe it wouldn't hurt to stop somewhere for food - no. I am strong. I don't need food right now_. He took a deep breath and put pressure on the gas pedal, heading for home and replacing his thoughts of food with far happier thoughts about Arin.

A slow smile spread across his face. He and Arin were going to hang out tomorrow. And for now, that was far more important to Dan than eating.

 


	2. Lost In A Daydream World

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There's a lot of music in this chapter. If you haven't heard the songs, I suggest you listen to them. Not that it plays a huge part in the plot, they're just all awesome songs. Sorry if any of the terminology doesn't make sense! Also sorry of this chapter bores you! And another quick warning: This chapter is where the inappropriate stuff starts to happen.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I like this chapter even more than the previous one. It's not even that great - we haven't gotten to the great part yet. When will we get there? I have no idea!

“Alarm, you can eat my dick,” was the first thing Dan said when he woke up the next morning. How come he woke up tired? _Every_ morning?

The lanky teacher extracted himself from the blankets that had wound themselves around him the night before and immediately made his way over to the full-length mirror on the back of his bedroom door. He studied his body and smiled when he noticed that he’d lost whatever weight he’d seen yesterday. But still, all he could see was someone that could stand to lose a few pounds. He pinched imaginary fat and frowned. To make Arin happy, he’d eat lunch today… but no breakfast. Half the world skipped eating breakfast; there’d be no problem if he did it.

* * *

 

Thirty minutes later, Dan was out the door, having packed himself a lunch and put on a very nice pair of jeans and a blue button-down with white pinstripes. On the way to the middle school, he passed one of the high school buses and caught sight of an old favorite student of his - Vernon - who was staring out the window. They cheerfully waved at each other.

How old was Vernon now? He had to be at least a sophomore. Dan shook his head. His brain was too fuzzy today to think about math… whatever math was. Dan’s thoughts moved on from Vernon to Arin, and he couldn’t help grinning. His chest fluttered a bit at the thought of Arin’s velvety eyes gazing at him like he was the most darling person in the world. Damn, he loved that man.

Dan parked his car next to his friend Mr. Wecht’s car. Brian Wecht taught theoretical physics for the Enrichment kids who were interested (Kiara was one of them). Brian and Dan had bonded over their shared passion for music, and Brian was the choir’s concert pianist.

Dan trotted towards the door, lost in a daydream world of Arin. He wondered if maybe Arin would want to hear the choir sing sometime… An idea bloomed in his brain, and his pace quickened. He passed Mr. Ross O’ Donovan, a History teacher, in the hallway, and gave him a hurried wave. Ross waved back and smiled. “Where’re you rushing off to, Dan?” he called after him in his light Australian accent.

“To see Arin!” Dan answered over his shoulder. Before he turned back around, he caught Ross’s wink. Ross knew of Dan’s crush on Arin - most of the teachers did. Thankfully, the Headmaster - Mark - didn’t. He’d fire them both for sure.

“ _Oof_!” Dan, not looking where he was going, smacked into someone and started to fall. Arms circled his waist, catching him before he could hit the ground. “Whoa there! You okay, Dan?”

“Arin!” Dan gave Arin, his rescuer, a grateful hug. “I’m so sorry!”

“That’s alright!” Arin, even after Dan was steady, didn’t drop his hands from Dan’s slim waist. “Why the big hurry?”

Dan blushed. “Um, I was actually going to try to find you before classes start. I wanted to ask if you’d like to hear the choir sing today before we have lunch together.”

“Totally! That’d be really cool. I have to go grab some stuff from the copier, but I’ll see you then?” Arin was smiling, but his eyes told that he was reluctant to leave Dan.

“See you then.” Dan blew him a kiss. Arin chuckled and squeezed Dan’s waist quickly before letting him go and heading off to the printing room. Dan wandered to his classroom in a happy daze, doing a few little dance steps on the way. He performed a flawless pirouette before opening the door to his room, tossing his keys onto the desk, and falling into his chair with a dreamy sigh.

There was a knock on the door. “Come in!” Dan sang out, voice an octave or so higher than usual.

It was Kiara. She smiled shyly and scuttled meekly over to the chair by Dan’s desk. Instead of food, this morning she was holding sheet music. “H-Hi, Mr. Avidan.”

“Hey, Kiara. How’re you doing this morning?” Dan smiled warmly, trying to encourage Kiara to relax a little.

“I’m pretty good. I-I need your help with something.”

“Anything, sweetie. What do you need?”

“I-I’m auditioning for the school play. Could you h-help me with my audition song?”

“Of course! What’re you singing? And what role do you want?” Dan smiled at the thought of the school play. He was going to be helping the cast with their singing at some of the rehearsals and would be stage crew. Mr. Matthew Patrick, the drama teacher, was, of course, the one directing the play. Matt was another friend of Dan’s. The show this year was _13: The Musical_.

“I’m singing ‘I Know It’s Today’ from Shrek The Musical. I want to be-”

“Patrice?” Dan interrupted, knowing Kiara very well.

“Y-Yeah.” She nodded, a meek little smile on her face, and handed Dan her sheet music. Dan sat down at the piano in the center of the room and set up the music in front of him. He frowned in concentration, looking over her 32-bar cut.

Kiara planted herself in front of the piano in a flawless singing stance and readied herself. “‘There’s a princess, any princess, take your pick, they’re all like me…’” Kiara began in her crisp, brilliant voice. Dan grinned. He loved watching Kiara sing. When she sang, she seemed to transform. Suddenly she was confident and strong, and nobody could take their eyes off of her. Last year, she’d played Belle in the school play, _Beauty and the Beast_ , and she was fantastic. She looked like she was made to be on stage, and absolutely stole the show. You’d never guess it from her timid personality, though, which Dan thought was amazing. “‘... And the waiting, the waiting, the waiting, the waiting, the waitiiiiiiiiiing…’” Kiara belted. The cut ended with her singing, “‘Are you there, God? It’s me, Fiona!’”

Dan applauded. “Beautiful!” Kiara blushed and smiled a little, staring at the floor. There was came a cheer from the doorway, making both Dan and Kiara turn their heads. Arin stood there, grinning and clapping his hands. Dan blushed at the sight of him and a shy smile of his own appeared on his face. Kiara blushed as well at Arin’s applause.

“Couldn’t help stopping by to hear you sing,” Arin told Kiara. “Dan’s right; you are brilliant. I bet you’ll get Patrice.” Kiara grinned silently. She looked back and forth from Arin to Dan, a knowing look in her eyes.

“Arin?” Dan didn’t know why, but he felt it necessary to get up and walk over to his crush.

“Hey, Dan.” Arin, once Dan was close enough, took his hands. Dan tried not to look down at their entwined hands, but it made his heart do jumping jacks.

“She’s fantastic, isn’t she?”

“Really. She really is.” Arin flicked his gaze over Dan’s shoulder at Kiara, giving her a quick smile. “You taught her well.” He leaned forward and whispered in Dan’s ear, lips brushing the shell gently, “But you’re even better. You’d better fuckin’ sing for me later.”

Dan felt his face burn. “I-I will.”

The two stared into each other’s eyes for a moment, then Arin let go of Dan’s hands. “I have to go set up for my Period 1 class. We’re oil painting today. But see you later.” He glanced at Kiara, making sure that she was looking elsewhere, and quickly reached down, pinching Dan’s ass and winking at him before backing out the door and into his own classroom.

Dan stared after him, stunned. He floated back to his seat at the piano, again prancing around in his dream world.

“Do y-you like him?”

“Huh?” Dan fell back into reality with a painful clang.

Kiara blushed. “Do you like Mr. Hanson?” she asked quietly.

“Yeah.” Dan nodded. “Yeah, I do.”

A smile grew on Kiara’s face. “I knew it.”

“Clearly.” Dan laughed. “Alright, you should get to homeroom. Your song sounds amazing. See you in class!”

“Okay. Bye, Mr. Avidan, and thank you,” Kiara said sweetly, accepting her sheet music and scurrying out of the classroom.

Dan, squealing again like a teenage girl in love, literally got up and spun around a few times before swooping down into his rolling chair and kicking up his feet on his desk all in one motion. His heart was performing ballet leaps and his mind was aswarm with Arin. He decided that he’d wait out Period 1 listening to… let’s see, what was fitting? How about starting with ‘My Junk’ from _Spring Awakening_? Yep, that seemed about right. Dan shut his eyes, appreciating the music. But God, all he could think about was Arin… Arin touching him..

As if guided by an imaginary force, Dan’s hand fell to his lap, brushing gently against his cock through his jeans. He bit his bottom lip, murmuring, “Arin…” and couldn’t stop himself from undoing his zipper. _This is so wrong. Who jacks off in a classroom? Well, apparently me_. Even Dan’s own brain was rolling its eyes at him.

Dan leaped up and hastily locked his classroom door, then returned to his seat. His thoughts stuck on Arin, he slipped his hand into his boxers, gripping the armrest with his other hand. A new song came on - ‘Madrigal’ by Rush. The slightly drowsy feel of the song made the whole scene feel almost like a dream. And it was, seeing as Dan was imagining that it was Arin touching him. Dan stroked himself, moaning out Arin’s name. “Fuck… Ar…” He stroked himself faster. “Oh- Oh my God!” In his mind, he saw Arin smirking and winking, Arin on his knees in front of him, Arin with his shirt off, Arin, Arin, Arin…

“Arin!” Dan cried out. “F-fuck…” Arin running his fingers under Dan’s shirt, Arin kissing Dan’s neck, Arin murmuring ‘Dan, I want you…’, Arin, Arin….

“Ah- God dammit… Arin!!” Dan’s hand was a blur, creating almost too much friction. He couldn’t stop his other hand from tangling into his hair and pulling roughly. In Dan’s mind, it was Arin’s hand in his hair, Arin’s hand on his dick, Arin…

Dan threw his head back and moaned filthily. He was drowned with his mental images of Arin, and it wasn’t long before he was cumming, screaming “ARINNNNN!!!!!” into the empty classroom.

Panting and with sweat pouring down his face, Dan hurried to zip himself back up and try to make it to the bathroom without being detected. Thank God he always kept a change of clothes in one of his desk drawers, just in case of emergency. He slipped into the fresh jeans and boxers, peering at himself in the mirror and taking a deep breath. He couldn’t believe what he’d just done. In his own classroom, for God’s sake. Huffing at himself, Dan neatened his hair before darting back to his classroom. _You’re a horrible person_ , he thought. “I am.”

* * *

 

“Alright, class, I’m sure you all know of Mr. Hanson.” Dan, during Period 4, introduced Arin to the choir.

A few ‘hellos’ were murmured back. Arin grinned, giving the kids a cheerful wave. “Hey, guys.”

“Let’s show Arin how awesome we are, yeah?” Dan smiled at his choir. There was a smattering of cheers, but they quieted when Dan played the first note of ‘Seasons of Love’ from _RENT_ , the first of the three choir songs. This year’s concert’s theme was Broadway, so the other two were ‘Prologue/Little Shop of Horrors’ from _Little Shop of Horrors_ (yes, it was supposed to be a narrator-plus-three-girls song, but the choir sang it in parts - Sopranos sang high, Altos sang middle, and Tenors and Baritones sang low. There were a few solos mixed in) and ‘The Ballad of Sweeney Todd (finale)’ from _Sweeney Todd_. They were difficult songs, but the choir could handle it. Dan focused on playing the piano and listening to the gorgeous, blending voices of his students. He grinned with pride when he threw a quick glance over his shoulder and saw Arin watching them with his jaw resting on the floor and a look of fierce admiration in his eyes.

When the song was over, Dan clapped his hands. “Really great job, guys!” He turned to Arin. “What do you think?” he asked.

“I think I picked the best way to spend Period 4,” Arin said sincerely, making the choir laugh. “Seriously, you guys are _killin’ it_.” He punctuated his last two words with a drag-queeny snapping of his fingers. “And you have the most knowledgeable and handsome teacher ever.”

“Aw, Arin! Don’t embarrass me!” Dan’s face heated up, but he found himself smiling. _Arin thinks I’m handsome!!!_ There were a few calls of ‘I ship it!’ among the choir kids as Dan, a blushing mess, turned back to the keyboard and started playing the intro of Little Shop.

“‘On the twenty-first day of the month of September…’” began Antonio, the clown of the choir, who’d been given the speaking part in the beginning. Dan had been surprised with the progress the kids had made with this song - it had started being a little too difficult for them, but now they sang it like professionals. They had no trouble with the blending, and it sounded fantastic. Arin had the same look as before - simultaneously shocked and impressed - as he watched them. Dan couldn’t hide his smile. He was so glad his kids were such amazing singers and that they were wowing Arin. He was proud of both them and himself (for teaching them so well).

“You guys are blowing my mind!” Arin announced when the choir finished. It made Dan laugh. He praised his choir before they launched into the last song, which was also the hardest one. One of the most difficult parts of the song was all the acting the kids had to do - they had to have a little of the devil in their eyes, expressions that were not quite evil but were nowhere close to innocent. It required lots of effort and focus from the students, but they could do it. The choir’s voices were spine-chilling as they performed the song like they did it every day on Broadway, but with the spontaneity of a storyteller.

“Amazing, amazing job, guys.” Dan clapped for the kids once they finished, and then turned to Arin. “Any last words?”

Arin chuckled. “You have an incredible group of kids, Dan.”

“Oh, by the way, my first name is Dan, for those of you who didn’t know!” Dan shouted to the kids, making them laugh.

“I think you all are super talented and awesome, and if you made any mistakes, I didn’t hear them. You guys have a concert next week, right?” There was a chorus of ‘yeah’s from the group. “Well, I have no doubt that you guys are going to kick some major butt. I can’t wait to hear you guys when you get onstage.” Arin gave the group a thumbs-up.

“Thanks for not screwing everything up in front of Arin, guys,” Dan said to the choir as Arin plopped down in Dan’s desk chair and rolled it over to sit next to Dan at the piano. “I’m so, so proud of you all.” All the kids were smiling. Kiara was beaming. “Okay, if you all wouldn’t mind, Norm, can I hear your solo in Sweeney? You were a little pitchy.”

“I’m sorry.” Norm, a gangly Tenor with taped glasses and short blonde hair, cast his eyes down in shame.

“No, no, it’s totally okay! Don’t worry about it, buddy. It can be fixed.” Dan smiled encouragingly at Norm.

The boy perked up a little. “Alright.” Dan gave him his first note and a quick countdown, and Norm started to sing. When he focused, he had one of those voices that made you wonder if angels really did exist. It could be fiery or languid and beautiful or whatever the music called for. He had one of the most versatile and lovely voices of anyone in the choir. He’d played Lumiere in the school play last year, and he’d killed it. This year, he was going for the role of Evan.

Arin stayed for the entire choir rehearsal, occasionally staring at Dan for long periods of time until their eyes would meet and then he’d look away shyly. He seemed amazed by the entire group and their sound, and he had every right to be; there were only forty kids - ten Sopranos, ten Altos, ten Tenors, and ten Baritones - but they sounded like at least one hundred. Their harmonies were blended and totally on point. The soloists were brilliant. Overall, Dan was incredibly proud of his choir, if it wasn’t obvious.

When rehearsal came to an end, the students left for lunch. A lot of them seemed reluctant to go; they hung around for a moment, stopping to wave goodbye to Dan and Arin or pretending to drop something just so they could stay around for a bit longer.

Arin turned to Dan once everyone was gone. “Your group is fantastic. Just like you,” Arin told Dan, taking his hands again.

“I’m so glad you like them! They’ve been working super hard.” Dan avoided responding to Arin’s compliment of him. Arin had heard him sing before, of course - he sang all the time. “Let’s have lunch in here. I actually packed lunch today, proud?” Dan held up his bagged lunch with a triumphant smile.

“I’ll be proud once you eat it, sweetie.” Arin smiled sweetly. “Lemme go grab my own lunch." He was gone for maybe ten seconds, coming back with his lunch.

“Did you want to hear me sing first?” Dan asked.

“Um, _yes_.” Arin gave Dan a look that suggested he should have known the answer to this already.

Dan pulled up the karaoke for ‘Your Love’ by The Outfield on his computer and starting singing before he could second-guess his choice of song. His surroundings melted away as he lost himself in the music, his melodious voice pouring out with almost a mind of its own. His hips swayed a little to the music, his body automatically engaging itself with the smoothness of his voice. He opened his eyes once and caught sight of Arin staring at him with a gaze that said two things; ‘You’re the most amazing singer I’ve ever heard,’ and ‘I’m totally gonna bang you later.’

Dan finished ‘Your Love’ and moved on to another song he thought he sang pretty well - ‘Rock With You’ by Michael Jackson. He lost himself in this song just as effectively as with the other - this time, though, his body got even more into it. His hips rocked, he couldn’t stop himself from doing a little step-touch, and his whole body just flowed. His voice was letting go of itself - suddenly he was riffing all over the place, and doing all this crazy stuff to enrich the song and make it his own. When the song was over, Dan took a deep breath. “Whelp, that was me singing.” He took an exaggerated, clownish bow before taking his seat and opening his lunchbag.

“That was the sexiest and most amazing thing I’ve ever witnessed.” Arin’s voice was low and serious.

Dan flushed. Oh, boy. “What, did my voice turn you on?”

“Obviously. And those hips? You're killing me.” Arin rolled his chair closer to Dan, setting one hand upon Dan’s thigh.

Dan placed his own hand over Arin’s. “S-Sorry?”

“Don’t apologize. It was beautiful. Thank you, Dan.”

They smiled at each other. Dan’s mind raced. Should he kiss Arin? _Yes_.

Dan had just begun to close the distance between them when there came a surprised “Oh!” from the doorway. Both men jerked away from each other and turned to look towards the door. One of the Alto girls had entered the room, and her face had gone red the moment she saw Arin and Dan. “I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to interrupt anything! I forgot my jacket in here. I’ll just - uh. I’ll just grab it and leave you guys alone, err…” Deciding that she’d do less damage if she stopped talking, the girl opted to fall silent, snatch her jacket from the corner where she’d tossed it during rehearsal, and race out of the room.

“Remind me to lock the door next time we hang out,” Dan muttered to Arin. Though they still wanted to kiss each other (so damn badly), they instead chose to begin eating their lunches, falling into an uncomfortable silence. The girl had ruined their moment, and there was no telling when the next time that felt right would be.

* * *

 

That night, Dan curled up in bed, forgoing dinner. His stomach had stopped grumbling, apparently not caring that Dan hadn't consumed anything but a small salad and some water all day. But his thoughts could never be on food when they were on Arin. Damn, he loved that man.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone who's read this story! Y'all are awesome. I didn't expect this to even be read once! I'm actually amazed wow


	3. Beauty and the Beast

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter has the exact mix of serious and sweet that I'm going for with this story. I'm very, very proud of it. It's quite romantic. Enjoy!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I most likely will not be able to post every day because I'm incredibly busy. I'll post as often as possible though (and will be posting a new story soon!). Thank you to everyone who is reading!

Dan awoke the next morning with a song stuck in his head - the opening number of _Beauty and the Beast_ , entitled ‘Belle’. He woke up singing “‘Little town, it’s a quiet village. Every day like the one before…’” in fact. He’d just been having a dream about being Belle - wandering through town in a pretty blue dress, falling in love with the Beast, watching the Beast turn into Arin…

Allowing himself to dream a moment longer, Dan slipped out of bed and waltzed around his room, humming the title song - “‘Tale as old as time, true as it can be….’”. He envisioned himself in Arin’s arms, twirling around the glittering dance floor while Mrs. Potts sang. Giggling to himself, Dan decided he’d wear blue today, like Belle. He chose a button-down that matched the color of Belle’s dress in the movie, and went for white jeans, like her apron. To complete the look, he grabbed a book he’d been reading and carried it under his arm.

He walked into school singing “‘Little town, it’s a quiet village…’”. Several teachers stopped to stare at him as he floated through the lobby.

“Bonjour!” Brian called to him at the right time with the music.

Dan laughed and kept singing. “‘There goes the baker with his tray like always, the same old bread and rolls to sell…’”

When Dan finished the stanza, Ross stopped next him. “‘Good morning, Belle!’”

“‘Good morning, monsieur!’”

“Where’re you off to?’”

“‘The book shop! I just finished the most wonderful story, about a beanstalk and an ogre and-’”

“‘That’s nice. MARIE! The baguettes! Hurry up!’”

As Dan continued on to his classroom, a group of eighth-grade passersby picked up the song. “‘Look there she goes, that girl who’s strange, no question…’” A few teachers who were on their way to their own classrooms joined the chorus as Dan skipped past.

“‘There must be more than this provincial life!’” Dan sang. Everyone in the hallway - including Dan - laughed. He swung open the door to his classroom and swept it shut behind him, slowly taking a seat in his desk chair. “‘Oh, isn’t this amazing? It’s my favorite part because…’” he started singing to himself.

Arin knocked on the door as a warning and entered Dan’s room. “Hey there, Belle.”

Dan gasped. “A Beast!”

Arin chuckled. Playing along, he roared, cantered over to Dan’s chair, and picked him up with ease, throwing him over his shoulder in a fireman’s carry. Arin, still randomly roaring, swung Dan around. Dan was half-screaming, half-laughing. By the time Arin set him down, they were both crying from laughter. “Remind me to never call you ‘Beast’ again,” Dan said between giggles and attempts to regain his breath.

“Noted.” Arin gave Dan a hug. When he leaned back, the happy look had nearly faded from his face. Concern shone in his eyes. “You weigh practically nothing, dude.” Dan shrugged, not knowing how to respond. Arin ran a hand up Dan’s front over his shirt and pressed down. “I can feel your ribs. Whenever I hug you, I feel like I’ll break you. Dan, are you okay?”

“Totally. I’m just skinny, is all.”

“And I’ve been noticing… you don’t eat, like, at all. You seem like you’re afraid of something. Do you… have some sort of problem?”

Dan shook his head violently, brown curls flying everywhere. “I’m _okay_.”

“If you say so.” The concern was replaced with sadness. “I just… I want to help you.”

“I don’t _need_ help!”

Dan turned his back on him.

Arin, afraid he’d hurt Dan’s feelings, was silent for a moment, trying to think of what to do. “Dan…” he began cautiously, in the softest, gentlest voice he could manage.

“No, Arin. Just… just go. Please?”

“I know I hurt your feelings, but I just, I - uh - I want you to be okay. I’m worried about you.”

Dan sighed, softening a little. He still wouldn’t turn to face Arin. “You don’t have to worry. I’ll live.”

Arin started towards the door. Before he could leave, though, Dan hurried over and grabbed his wrist. “Wait!” Their eyes met. “Don’t think I’m mad at you, okay? I’m just a little annoyed is all.”

“Whatever.”

Dan gave Arin puppy eyes. “Want to come over and play video games with me once we’re finally allowed to go home?”

“Sure. It’s a date.” Arin smiled, deciding it was easier to give in than to stew in anger. He laced the fingers of one hand through Dan’s.

Dan pulled him gently back into the room, shutting the door. “I admire that you care enough about me to worry about my health,” Dan said, laying his free hand on Arin’s shoulder.

Arin, smiling, set his hand on Dan’s waist. He started to say something, but stopped and replaced it with something else: “We look like we could be waltzing.”

Dan observed the position they were in and nodded, smiling a little. “Yeah, we do.” They only needed to look into each other’s eyes to know what to do next. They began to waltz around the room, Dan starting to sing, “‘Tale as old as time, true as it can be… barely even friends, then somebody bends, unexpectedly…’” Arin and Dan whirled around the classroom, their imaginary ballroom, eyes locked, hearts aflutter. There was only them, together. As if they were in their very own bubble, far from the rest of the world.

All too soon, the song came to an end. Dan curtsied to Arin and he bowed in response, kissing Dan’s hand and whispering, “Goodbye, m’lady. You are a mighty fine dancer.” Dan’s face flushed and his hand tingled where Arin had kissed it. To cover up his obvious freaking out, he laughed and hugged Arin. Arin held Dan as if he was something precious, a jewel or maybe a family heirloom (or an enchanted rose), with value beyond compare. It made Dan feel, just for a moment, like he was special. But then Arin let go, and he felt like utter crap again.

* * *

 

It was six PM when Dan and Arin entered Dan’s house through the front door. Arin had been there already twice before, and the first thing he did was remove his shoes. Dan did the same, kicking them off and delighting in how much more comfortable he felt now. The two settled on Dan’s couch, leaning their heads back and closing their eyes for a moment, breathing deeply.

Arin yawned. “Dude, I’m soooo tired,” he grunted.

“So am I,” murmured Dan, already half-asleep. He lay his head on Arin’s shoulder, curling up against him. “Can I just nap?”

“Totally, kitten.” Dan was already snoring by the time Arin was pronouncing the ‘k’ in ‘kitten’. Arin smiled at his weary friend and stroked his mess of hair. His smile faltered when he thought of lunch earlier today; he’d gone to the teacher’s lounge and eaten the lunch he packed in there, and he hadn’t seen Dan anywhere nearby. Dan had spent the lunch period working in his room with one of the choir soloists who had a later lunch period than he. Dan obviously hadn’t eaten lunch, or breakfast either, from what Arin had observed.

Arin didn’t want to leave the sleeping man, but he had to check something. He stood slowly, gently laying Dan’s head on the couch’s arm before hurrying into the kitchen and opening the fridge.

It was Wednesday, and Dan did his grocery shopping on Sundays - his fridge shouldn’t be full, as if he’d recently stocked it. It should be at least half depleted. But it wasn’t; the fridge looked as if Dan had just come back from the store, except for the fact that the majority of the stuff in the fridge was expired. Arin checked the date on a cup of yogurt. It had expired last month.

Frantically, Arin checked the date on everything in the fridge, and it was all expired - all of it but a couple of bananas, a head of lettuce, some granola bars, and a single apple. Arin grabbed a granola bar and brought it to the couch. He shook Dan’s shoulder lightly. “Dan? Buddy?”

Dan cracked open one doe eye. “Yes, Ar?”

“You hungry?” Arin held out the snack to him as he sat up.

“Nope. I - uh - I’m fine. I feel fi- ” His words were cut off by the sound of his stomach growling like thunder, desperate for food. Guilty, Dan chuckled flatly once, twice. “You better not make me eat that, Arin.”

“I’m gonna make you eat this granola bar.”

“No.”

“Yes.”

“You wouldn’t do it.”

“I totally would. And I totally will. I will pin you down and force-feed this to you if I have to.” Arin reached out and grabbed Dan’s wrist as if to demonstrate his strength. He noticed for the third time today that Dan’s skin was exceptionally dry. His nails were completely see-through and looked like they could snap under any kind of pressure. _Maybe that’s why he always keeps his nails so short_ , Arin wondered. Dan looked exhausted, from the vibrant violet bags hanging under his eyes to the frailty of his appearance. Arin couldn’t recall one day this month when Dan hadn’t been exhausted. And of course he was skeletal at this point.

Arin fit the pieces together in his head. “Holy shit. You’re anorexic.”

“What!? No I’m not! Why would you even say that!?” Dan went rigid, his eyes fiery.

“You haven’t been eating what’s in your fridge,” Arin said. “You’re constantly fatigued. Your skin is dry and your nails are brittle, you never eat, and-”

“STOP! JUST STOP!”

Before Arin knew what was happening, Dan had him pinned to the floor, sitting on his chest with a knee on each elbow, one hand on his shoulder, and the other hand poised to strike. For a second, Arin was terrified that Dan would hit him. But his hand fell limply from the air and he sighed. He climbed off of Arin and pressed both hands over his face, easing himself down onto the couch. _Do NOT cry, do NOT cry… Shit_. Dan tried to hold back the tears, but they flowed from his eyes anyway.

“Baby, I’m sorry.” Dan felt Arin sit down next to him and wrap an arm around his shoulders. Dan leaned on Arin and just allowed himself to cry - he didn’t have the strength to stop it.

“It’s n-not you,” Dan hiccuped. “It’s e-e-everything. It’s all s-so stres-stressful, and-d I c-can’t handle it. I j-just want to p-play video ga-ames and forget-t ab-about everythi-ing.”

Arin rubbed Dan’s back. “Okay.”

That’s exactly what they did. For the rest of the evening, they played _Mario Kart_ , and soon Dan’s tears were replaced by laughter, and he’d forgotten his painful reality. Suddenly the most important thing (besides Arin, of course) was whether or not he could make an imaginary car go fast enough to win an imaginary race. But he’d laugh whenever he’d lose, and so would Arin, and neither felt like they’d had so much fun in quite a while.

“Fuckin’ Peach ass bitch!” Arin yelled at one point when Princess Peach hit him with a red shell. Dan’s Luigi zoomed right past.

“Eat this shit!” Dan shouted triumphantly, firing a red shell out the back to hit Arin as he raced ahead.

Before Arin left (at ten o’clock at night), he made Dan promise to eat breakfast the next morning.

“Bye, Belle.” Arin bowed exaggeratedly to Dan, making him laugh.

“Goodnight, my handsome prince.”

“Isn’t that from _Aladdin_?”

“Who gives a shit?”

They smiled at each other, starting to become lost in each other’s eyes. “I’d better go,” they said simultaneously, then they laughed.

“Goodnight.” Dan leaned forward to kiss Arin’s forehead quickly.

“Sweet dreams, princess,” Arin quoted.

“Now who’s quoting _Aladdin_?”

The men rolled their eyes at each other. But they were grinning. They waved to each other, then went their separate ways - Arin out to his car and Dan into the house. Dan wandered to his bedroom, collapsed onto the bed, and fell asleep before he’d even taken his shirt off.


	4. Sunlight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The moment you've all been waiting for...

Saturday couldn’t come quick enough. Dan was actually able to sleep in for once, a blessing that he couldn’t be more excited for. And, of course, he and Arin would be hanging out that day. They’d made plans for the afternoon - Arin had somewhere to be for dinner, so he’d come over from one to six. Dan couldn’t begin to imagine what they’d do, but he hoped it involved making out.

Dan decided not to get dressed until later. He staggered into the kitchen in his cozy blue robe, feeling oddly faint. He’d been feeling that way for the past couple days, in fact. He made himself a cup of green tea and had that for breakfast, sitting out on the porch steps and enjoying the glistening spring morning. The air was crisp and sweet, birds were twittering their beautiful songs, and the sun smiled cheerily in the pale, endless blue of the sky.

Once Dan’s cup was empty, he headed back inside and toppled onto the couch, deciding to laze around and play _Morrowind_ for a while. He had nothing better to do - thank God - and dammit, _Morrowind_ was just a good fucking game.

Dan lost himself in playing, almost like his soul had melted out of his body and into the screen. He got that feeling a lot, especially when reading a book or watching people sing. He loved to escape his own shitty reality in any way possible. If that required him to spend several hours in front of a screen, binge gaming, then so be it.

At noon, Dan managed to cut himself off and stop playing. He needed a break, anyway - the world was starting to look computer-generated. Jeez. Dan got dressed, putting on a Transformers t-shirt and a pair of ripped jeans. He didn’t bother to do his hair and returned to the couch with a book.

* * *

 

An hour later, Dan was startled out of his reading by the ringing of the doorbell. He jumped up and actually ran over to the door, extremely excited to see Arin. The run winded him more than it should, and he had to lean against the door for a minute to stop his head from swirling. He unlocked the door and pulled it open, and there was Arin, glowing in the golden afternoon sun, wearing baggy sweatpants and a Sailor Moon shirt, shouldering a leather satchel, and smiling so bright that he rivaled the sun. Dan was entranced.

“Hi, Danny!” Arin broke the spell, and Dan was able to speak.

“Hey there, Ar! Come on in!” Danny opened the door wider, welcoming Arin inside. The art teacher removed his sneakers at the door, as usual, and wandered over to the couch. He sat, and Dan sat in his lap.

“Have you eaten today?” Arin asked Dan seriously, tucking a wayward curl behind Dan’s ear.

“Yeah,” Dan lied, then felt guilty.

Arin smiled. “Good.”

“So… wanna play something, or watch a movie, or…” Dan didn’t know what to ask. He realized he probably should have thought of some ideas before Arin showed up.

“Actually, I was wondering if I could draw you. Would that be okay?”

Dan was a bit taken aback. But the minor shock passed quickly, and he nodded. “Of course you can, Arin!” He slipped off of Arin’s lap and onto the couch while Arin pulled his sketchbook and pencils out of his satchel.

“Would you mind taking off your shirt?” Arin asked.

Dan wasn’t sure he’d heard him right. “Excuse me?”

“I asked you if you could take your shirt off. I want to draw you without your shirt on.” Arin spoke slowly and clearly, as if to a small child, and smiled playfully at Dan.

“Oh. Um.” Dan would have refused if Arin didn’t give him puppy eyes. The eyes made him just have to take off his shirt, exposing his pale torso to the artist. _At least you’re not naked_ , Dan thought to himself.

Arin’s eyes couldn’t help but sweep over Dan’s body. Something about Dan’s bare torso looked almost otherworldly - maybe it was the way the skin was white as snow, maybe how he looked like he was carved from ivory, maybe how his ribs protruded so far. Arin decided that Dan was perfect, and told him as much, making the singer blush.

“Okay. I’m gonna pose you now, alright?”

Dan nodded. He allowed Arin to move him around, positioning his body in a bunch of different ways before finally settling on a pose. Dan ended up lying on his back, his hands clasped behind his head, staring at the ceiling and giving a slight, distracted smile. His left knee was up in the air, his right leg flat as a board on the couch. He tried to relax while maintaining the pose - fortunately, it was a fairly easy one to relax into. He didn’t even feel uncomfortable anymore.

Arin focused hard on every curve, every ridge, every tiny detail of Dan as he drew. He studied the way Dan’s hipbones jutted out, the way his eyes sparkled with dreams, the way his hair seemed to move of its own accord in senseless cartoon-y directions. Arin thought Dan was gorgeous. He tried to capture the strange beauty of Dan in his drawing - he didn’t look like anyone else, but that was one of the reasons why he was so hot and intriguing. Arin used gentle lines to make Dan seem like a soft presence, afloat in his own thoughts, with a queer sort of elegance in his shape. He was probably the most interesting subject that Arin had drawn so far.

“Aaaaaaand… done!” Arin whisked his pencil from his paper with a flourish. “Check it out.”

Dan yanked his shirt over his head and hurried over to examine the work of art. His jaw dropped dramatically. “Oh my God, Ar… I’m not that attractive in real life!”

“Dude, of course you are!”

“No way. Your drawing makes me look beautiful.”

“Maybe because you are?”

Dan whipped his head around to look at Arin. He smiled softly, eyes bright. “You think I’m beautiful?”

“Haven’t I made it clear, you fuckin’ dumbass?” He said it with a grin.

Dan, without even meaning to, threw his arms around Arin, accidentally knocking him back into the couch. They tumbled onto it together, Dan landing on his back with Arin on top of him, both of them laughing. Dan’s arms were around Arin’s neck, and Arin had his hands on Dan’s chest to steady himself. Their eyes met. Suddenly the mood shifted, and it wasn’t so playful and carefree anymore. Dan found it fascinating how he and Arin managed to communicate using just their eyes. Right now, Arin’s eyes were telling him, _I want to kiss you_.

Dan answered back with his own eyes. _Why don’t you do it, then?_

He did.

Arin leaned down, pressing his lips against Dan’s. It was gentle, tentative - at least at first. This was somehow so new to both of them, but, though it felt strange and unfamiliar, it also felt so passionate, so _right_ , almost like a new form of communication. And they kept talking in their wondrous language, kissing harder and with more passion, their hands moving of their own accord. Arin’s fingers crept up Dan’s stomach under his shirt while Dan’s fingers laced into Arin’s hair. Both felt an interesting feeling bubbling in their chests - something sparkly, something bubbly, something fluttery. There was nothing in their minds but each other, and it felt like redoing a first kiss, this time with the right person.

Arin swept his tongue across Dan’s bottom lip. The ghostly touch was enough to make Dan open his mouth, and Arin’s tongue met his in a sudden rush of strongest passion. Their kiss became something alive, a spark in the air between them that whistled up to the ceiling and exploded in a glittering golden firework. The feeling being pushed into every moment of the kiss was so strong that it almost hurt, and they both realized just how much they cared for the other. And they cared for each other _a lot_.

When they finally broke away, their smiling eyes locked again. This time, they spoke aloud. “Oh my God,” Dan said, for lack of anything else to say.

Arin chuckled. “Yup. So… that was… nice?”

“The hell do you mean, _nice_!?” Dan smacked his arm. Both men giggled.

“I’m joking. I meant that was amazing and I’m in love with you and would you be my boyfriend?”

Dan laughed at Arin’s stumbling and kissed him quickly again. “Of course I will, Arin. I love you.”

Arin pumped his fist and ‘yesssss’ed like they do in old middle school movies. This led both men to die of laughter again.

“You’d better go before we have rough, unprotected sex,” Dan said with a good-natured smile.

“One more kiss?”

“Definitely.”

This time, Dan pulled Arin’s face down to his. This kiss meant no less than the first.

* * *

 

“Bye, Big Cat!” Dan called, waving goodbye from the doorstep as his new boyfriend’s car started down the road. He could see Arin giving him a wave out the window, and he smiled. He loved that man.

Once back inside, Dan’s stomach growled like he had just woken up from hibernation. “No,” Dan scolded it aloud. “No, I will not feed you.” His stomach grumbled again, this time sounding almost like a whimper. “Ugh.” He wondered if maybe his stomach was actually some sort of beast living inside him. He flopped facedown on his bed, realizing that it was only six-o-five but not giving a shit. He fell asleep anyway, exhausted by his own ridiculous thoughts.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did I write the kiss well? I personally like it, but I don't know if anyone else will. Oops. Anyway, hope you enjoyed! The next chapter is gonna be INTENSE, so prepare yourself for feels!


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is the heavy chapter. It's sad. Sorry.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just realized how out of character Arin and Dan sometimes are in this story... oops. My apologies.

Sunday blew by, and before Dan knew it, Monday had dawned. It was a particularly rude awakening - a thunderstorm had brewed in the sky overnight, and a clap of thunder that sounded more like, well, _thunderous_ applause ended up waking Dan fifteen minutes before his alarm was supposed to go off.

He grumbled something intelligible about storms as he rose and threw on a random outfit. As previously mentioned, Mondays are a shitty day for everyone.

Dan, seeing that he had five minutes, sank into the couch with a deep sigh. He didn’t know if he could face anyone today. He hadn’t eaten or drank anything since Saturday morning, and it was really dawning on him. His head was spinning already and he hadn’t even left his house. He couldn’t imagine how awful he’d feel when he actually started teaching for the day… he decided not to imagine it.

His thoughts wandered to a happier subject - Arin. Obviously. He had been the only thing on Dan’s mind yesterday, even appearing in his dreams. A slow smile spread over his face when he thought of the delicious upside of the day - that he could spend as much time with Arin as he wanted, and he could kiss him and do … other things… without a smidgen of guilt. Arin was always just across the hall; all Dan had to do was walk a few feet and he could find solace in Arin’s presence.

Dan’s internal clock yanked him out of his thoughts with a sharp cry of ‘YOU’RE LATE!’ And his internal clock never malfunctioned. Indeed, Dan had spent ten minutes too long just sitting on the couch and thinking.

He bolted out of the house, hurriedly locking the door behind him and jogging to his car. He hopped in and tried to start it… but nothing happened.

“Oh, God, please, no…” Dan attempted twice more to start his car, but to no avail.

“Shit!” _I knew I should’ve taken this hunk of junk to the shop yesterday._ Dan leaped from the car and took off running, sprinting down the street and out into town, hurtling over the sidewalks towards the school. It was already a twenty-minute drive, and now this? He really had to run.

Dan’s head and heart pounded. Every quick stride felt like hell. He felt as though he were being worked to death, but he wouldn’t give up because dammit, he didn’t want to fuck up that attendance record… let his students down…

Dan pushed himself past his limit, his lungs searing, sweat soaking the back of his shirt, his entire body aching. His headache was throbbing and he felt more and more exhausted with every passing minute.

Finally, Dan slowed to a halt outside the doors of the school, gasping for breath that he couldn’t seem to find, feeling dizzy and drained and God knows what else. He leaned against the school’s brick outer wall for a moment before pulling open the glass door with a shuddering arm and starting for his classroom.

He seemed to slow more and more with every step. His entire body was crying out for him to lie down and rest.

Dan collapsed. Everything went black.

* * *

A soft knock sounded on Arin’s door. “Come in!” called the art teacher.

Mr. Barry Kramer, the school’s best - well, only - Computer Programming teacher, opened the door. There was no trace of a smile on his face and his eyes were wide and worried. “Arin, I have bad news.”

“Shoot.” Arin shrugged.

Barry perched on the edge of the chair in front of Arin’s desk, wringing his hands. “Arin, it’s Dan. He-”

 _No. God, please no._ “What happened to him?” Arin stood, balling one fist. If Dan had gotten hurt....

“Arin, Dan’s in the hospital.”

Arin’s stomach dropped. “He’s… what?”

“Dan’s in the hospital, Arin. Brian found him passed out in the lobby ten minutes after the first period bell. Brian managed to wake Dan up. Apparently, he ran all the way to school because his car wouldn’t start. Dan insisted that he was fine, but he obviously wasn’t. He could barely walk on his own. Brian drove him to the hospital.”

Arin was already grabbing his keys. “I _have_ to go see him. Sub for me?”

“Totally. Let me know how he his when you find out.” Barry pulled out his phone to text Headmaster Fisbach about Arin’s rapid exit.

Arin couldn’t care less about his class or even his job right now. All he cared about was Dan. A million thoughts ran through his head as he drove just above the speed limit to the hospital. _What if Dan actually has an eating disorder and I was right? What if he has some kind of permanent damage? Shit, what if he’s dying right this second?_ Arin pressed the gas pedal to the floor. _I need to get to him. I need to. I can’t bear to see anything happen to him._

Arin parked in the first free spot he saw and literally sprinted into the lobby of the hospital. He raced up to the desk. “I’m here to see a Dan Avidan?”

“Leigh Daniel Avidan?” the receptionist (her name tag said 'Denise') asked, peering at him through her horn-rimmed glasses.

“Yes, yes. I’m his boyfriend. I _have_ to see him.” Arin thought he must look insane - running in all out of breath, hair a mess, talking like a psycho.

“Let me see if they’re allowing visitors in his room.” Denise picked up the phone.

Arin waited anxiously, bouncing on the balls of his feet, for Denise to finish calling the room. He tried to count the water stains on the ceiling but gave up after five tries. He always kept going right back to 1. Nothing held his focus.

“Alright. You may go up and visit him. He’s in Room 329, on the third floor.”

“Thank you, Denise!” Arin darted towards the stairs - stairs were faster than the elevator, and besides, right now, he felt like he could run up thirty flights of stairs if it would bring him to Dan. “329, 329, 329…” Arin repeated over and over under his breath, climbing several flights of stairs before bursting out into the hallway and searching frantically for room 329. When, at last, he found it, he paused outside the door to catch his breath, then knocked lightly.

A doctor with round, rimless glasses so thick you couldn’t see his eyes underneath answered the door. “You’re the boyfriend Denise told me about?”

“Yep. Is Dan in here?”

The doctor nodded. “Come on in. Dan’s asleep right now, but you can see him.”

Arin cautiously entered the room, as if crossing into No Man’s Land. The second he saw Dan on the hospital bed, looking half-dead, he gasped and ran to his bedside. Holding Dan’s hand, he examined his corpselike form. Dan’s hair and nails looked more brittle than ever, his unshaven skin was a cadaver pallor, his eyelids were so thin they could be white grape skins, and he looked like a broken doll left to bleach and dry out in the sun. A lifeless husk.

“Oh, baby,” Arin whispered, feeling the dryness of Dan’s skin under his fingers and trying not to cry. “What have you done to yourself?”

The doctor stood awkwardly by the foot of the bed. “He answered a few questions before he fell asleep, and he kept asking for you. In his sleep, too.”

A tear tumbled down Arin’s face despite his efforts to keep it in. _He called for me?_

“I’m afraid your boyfriend has anorexia.”

Arin nodded sadly. “I knew it.” He gazed down at Dan’s melancholy, hollow-cheeked face. “Will he be okay?”

“Hopefully. He’s already lost a dangerous amount of weight - thankfully he can be recovered. Most of the effects are reversible. But there is one problem that isn’t so reversible - Dan has a weakened heart muscle. Heart failure is a massive possibility right now.” The doctor sighed and raked a hand through his graying hair. “His bones have weakened as well, but that is treatable.”

One of Arin’s tears dripped from his chin to Dan’s pallid forehead. _I just wish he’d listened to me._ “Can I have a minute alone with him?”

“Sure. Holler if he starts to act strangely.” The doctor promptly left the room, the door snapping shut behind him.

Arin leaned down to kiss Dan’s forehead, then his eyelids, cheeks, all over his face. His skin was icy cold. Just before Arin moved to Dan’s lips, he squeezed the sleeping man’s hand. Dan’s eyes flickered open and sparkled slightly when he caught sight of Arin. He smiled weakly. “Hey there, Big Cat.” His voice was thin and difficult to hear.

“Danny…” Arin’s lips landed on Dan’s. His tears flowed onto Dan’s face like spring rain as he kissed him with a pained passion. Dan kissed back with as much strength as he could muster. “Danny…” Arin murmured again when they parted. “You poor, poor thing. Baby, how could you let this happen? Why didn’t you let me help you?”

“I didn’t know anything was wrong. I thought I needed to lose weight because all I could see in the mirror was flaws, flaws, flaws.” Now Dan was becoming misty-eyed. “I… I’m sorry.”

“Honey, you could - you could _die_.” Arin’s heart tied itself in knots even a Boy Scout would walk away from.

“I know.” Dan took both of Arin’s hands in his own. “I know.”

“I love you so much,” Arin whispered, holding one of Dan’s freezing, dry hands to his heart.

“I love you too, Arin. I love you more than anything. More than myself.”

“I know.” Arin pressed another butterfly kiss to Dan’s nose. “Try to get better, okay? If anything horrible happened to you, I wouldn’t be able to deal with it.”

“Because you can’t make a deal with abstract nouns,” Dan joked. They both laughed softly.

“Even when you’re sick, you’re mildly funny,” Arin said affectionately.

Dan smiled. His eyelids were starting to droop again. “I’m sleepy, Ar. Will you stay with me till I fall asleep? And, when you go back, tell my kids I’ll be okay. They have to believe I’ll be okay. If I died, it would _kill_ them. No pun intended."

“Okay. I will.” Arin stroked Dan’s hair. “Want me to sing to you, too?” He said this faux-gruffly, chuckling.

“Yes, please. ‘Never Gonna Give You Up’?”

“No way. Wouldn’t want to make your ears bleed.”

“I’m sure you wouldn’t,” Dan mumbled, eyes fluttering shut. “Stay gold, Ponyboy.”

Arin chuckled at Dan's  _The Outsiders_ reference. “Love you too.”

But Dan was already sleeping.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did I kill you guys? Sorry... I actually cried while typing this one out, okay? I'm not a heartless monster, I'm just really good at writing depressing stories.


	6. Let Me In

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A hospitalized Dan attempts to heal with the help of frequent visitors.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am SO SORRY!!! This chapter is WAY overdue! Also it kinda sucks, but don't worry! It'll get better.

When Dan awoke, God-knows-when (he assumed it was mid-afternoon, judging from the light filtering through the blinds; no guesses as to what day it was), he immediately called for Dr. Rick. The bespectacled doctor hustled into the room. “What is it, Mr. Avidan?”

“My boyfriend’s waiting in the hall, isn’t he?” Dan, knowing Arin, somehow knew that Arin had most likely been waiting outside for the next visitors-allowed block of time.

“Yeah.” Dr. Rick smiled a little. “He really cares about you.”

“He does.” Dan’s nose burned a little, thinking about how he had shut Arin out and let him down, but he forced himself not to cry. “He cares about me so much. And I care about him too - I care about him more than I care about myself.”

“Clearly. You’re basically killing yourself, but you protect that man like a mama bear,” the doctor said with a grin.

“Oh, hush, you.” Dan chuckled, then sucked in a breath. His whole body felt weak. “Let him in, please.”

“Sorry, but visitors aren’t allowed until - ”

“Let. Him. In.”

Dr. Rick raised his hands as if trying to calm a wild animal. “Okay, then.”

Seconds later, Arin was at Dan’s bedside. “How’re you feeling, buddy?” Arin asked, tucking a strand of Dan’s hair behind his ear.

“I’m okay. The sleep is helping. And they’re forcing me to eat, so… I guess that’s good?” Dan sat up in the hospital bed, the sheets slipping from his near-bare shoulders. He held Arin’s hands in his own.

“Your hands are cold, dude.” Arin squeezed Dan’s hands and drew them to his mouth, exhaling onto them to warm them up.

Dan giggled. “You realize you don’t have to stay here, right? I’m sure the chair outside the door isn’t very comfortable.” Dan pulled one hand away from Arin’s and raked it through his own hair. A couple strands remained on his fingers when he pulled them away, and he sighed, feeling regret digging deep into his chest. _How could I let something like this happen to me?_

“You okay, kitten?” Arin didn’t respond to Dan’s comment. He was examining the nearly pained expression on Dan’s thin face. At least his eyes still sparkled.

“Just thinking.” Dan drew his knees up to his chest, curling into a ball. “Wondering when I can get out of here,” he lied. Well, sort of. He _had_ been thinking about it earlier. Dan heard Arin gasp and looked up in concern. “What?”

Arin was staring in horror at the inside of Dan’s forearm. “Dan… there are… your wrists are scarred. Danny, what’s going on?”

Last night… Dan barely heard Arin, his mind spiraling back to last night. Last night… His hate for his own self was so blinding, so powerful… he needed to feel pain. So he scraped his delicate nails over his wrists… over and over and over… until blood was dripping like crimson tears onto the white sheets… but the pain would never be enough to match his abhorrence at himself. Dan yanked his arm away from Arin. “Nothing. Don’t you worry.”

“Dan, talk to me. Please! You need my help. Just let me in.”

_He can help you. Let him help you._ Dan tried not to draw back into himself. He tried to let Arin help him. He told what had happened last night, bursting into tears halfway through. _I’m a despicable person. Despicable. I don't deserve someone so wonderful as Arin._  Arin held Dan close, being as comforting, as understanding, as he could be. But he really didn’t get why Dan hated, truly hated, himself so much. Dan was talented, and intelligent, and beautiful. Kind, caring, brave. A million other adjectives. Dan was Arin’s whole world… but he hated himself. Just the knowledge of this made Arin want to cry.

“I love you. I love you so much. I wish you could love yourself.” Arin rocked Dan gently back and forth. “I wish I could make you see how amazing you are, Daniel.”

Dan felt a warm tear run its course down his face, but he didn’t try to suppress it. Arin looked into Dan’s misty eyes, wiping the tear from Dan’s cheek with his thumb. Dan smiled softly, then he yawned. “Sorry, Ar. I’m really tired,” he whispered, lying back on his pillow. He hoped he didn’t seem rude. “I get tired super easily.”

“Oh. Okay.” Arin seemed disappointed. “You should get some rest.” He leaned down to kiss Dan full on the mouth. “I love you. Sweet dreams, dear.” And with that, Dan sank into sleep.

* * *

 

When he awoke, a familiar figure was entering the room.

Dan sat bolt upright. “Kiara!?”

“Mr. Avidan!” The girl hurried over to his bedside and held his hand like Arin had. “Are y-you alright?”

“Well, no.” Dan shrugged. “I have anorexia, but at least my heart’s still beating. Apparently it may stop at any time.”

Kiara’s eyes went wide. She pressed a hand to her mouth. “Oh m-my gosh…”

“Yeah. Not a good scene.” Dan brushed his thumb over Kiara’s knuckles. “How’re you? Is the choir doing okay without me?”

“No,” Kiara mourned. “S-Since you’ve been… gone, nobody’s-s been ok-okay. Mr. Hanson is a wr-wreck. And- And all the choir kids don’t s-sound any g-g-good. It’s been-n diffi-diffi-difficult.”

Dan enveloped his favorite student in his arms that stretched for miles and felt brittle as raw pasta. “I’ll be back soon, Ki. I promise.” He let go of her, staring into her eyes. “By the way, what day is it?”

She giggled. “It’s We-Wednesday. Aft-After school.”

Dan was about to start asking Kiara more questions, but before he could another familiar figure entered the room and made haste over to Dan’s bed. _Arin_.

“Hi, baby,” Dan said with a drowsy smile. “How’s life?”

“You’ve been asleep for three fucking days! Life’s _not_ okay! I’m so damn worried about you, every second.” Arin kissed both of Dan’s cheeks to end his little spiel.

Kiara took a step back. “Maybe I- Maybe I should g-go.”

“C’mere, Ki.” Dan gave the girl one more hug before she left. The petite little sprig of a girl waved as she hippity-hopped out the door.

“I’m so proud of Kiara,” Arin said. “She punched a guy the other day!”

“WHAT!?” _Sweet little Kiara!? She’d never!_

“She did! I was chaperoning at lunch and some guy took the book she was trying to read away from her and ripped out a few of the pages, and she just fuckin’ reeled back and nailed the guy in the chest!”

“That’s awesome! And terrifying. But I’m proud of her too. She’s been getting more and more confident in herself since the beginning of the year... but she still stutters.” It was quite the speech for Dan - he hadn’t been speaking much lately.

“Yeah. Anyway, do you have any information on when you’ll be getting out?”

Dan shook his head. “It’ll be a few more days, at least. My heart is getting stronger, gradually.”

“That’s good.” Arin kissed Dan’s palm. “You look a little better.” Dan did. Pigment was beginning to return to his skin, his hair and nails looked healthier, and he looked to be putting on a small amount of weight. The dark circles were literally gone from his face - without them, he looked younger somehow.

“Gee, thanks.” Dan offered Arin a tight-lipped smile. “Glad to know I look slightly better than a corpse.”

“I didn’t mean it like that!” Arin, laughing, grasped both of Dan’s hands in his. “Like I said before - even when you’re at your worst, your humor is still the best.”

“Damn right!” Dan chuckled. “Oh, and apparently I call for you. A lot. Especially in my dreams.”

“Aw, that’s nice of you.” Arin gave Dan a cheesy smile.

Dan couldn’t think of a reply, so he leaned back against his pillows and sighed. “Wish I could get outta here. I don’t like it.”

“I wouldn’t like it either. But don’t worry; you’ll be able to go soon,” Arin soothed.

A nurse walked in, her feathery blond ‘80s hair drifting like a halo around her head. “Mr. Dan Avidan?”

Dan raised his hand lethargically.

“Hi. I have good news from Doctor Rick!”

“What’ll that be… Aida?” Dan read her name tag. Aida, like the Broadway show. _Cool_.

“You’ll be free to go this Friday!” Aida grinned. “You’ve been doing so well, according to Rick. He says you should be fine as long as you eat right and get more sleep. He wants you to take that Friday off from work, and return on Monday. Cool?”

“Cool! Thanks Aida! Tell Rick I said thanks.” Dan grinned, flopping back on his pillow.

“Of course. So long.” The nurse gave the men a quick curtsy before she left the room.

Arin watched Aida go. “She was wearing pants.”

“What are you talking about?”

“All the other girls are wearing swishy little skirts, but she’s wearing pants like the guys.”

“Neat.” Dan couldn’t care less at the time. What he wanted to do now was sleep - even though he'd just woken up.

“You seem sleepy. Want me to go?” Arin stroked back Dan’s hair.

“No, please stay.” Dan let his eyes flutter shut as Arin ran his fingers gently through Dan’s disaster zone of hair. Arin started to softly sing - not something he did often, but Dan loved to go to sleep to music. He was singing ‘Madrigal’. Dan couldn’t help but think back to that time he’d jacked off with that song playing in the background.

“Did I ever tell you that I used to think about you when I jerked it?” Dan was asleep before he even heard Arin’s reply.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter will definitely go up way sooner than this one. Love you all so much!!


	7. New And Familiar

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I sincerely apologize for the horrid ending of this chapter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am SOOOOOO sorry that I've been away for so long! I have an algebra final in five days so I've been studying nonstop for that (I suck at algebra). I haven't been sleeping... and I spent all of Tuesday night reading the entirety of 'Five, Six, Seven, Nate' by Tim Federle (which I love even more than 'Better Nate Than Never', but that book is also fantastic) and writing an essay about 'The Outsiders'. Anyway, I'll stop making excuses. I'm just sorry for taking so much time to update, and this chapter isn't very good. Anyway, I love you all! Thank you for sticking with me!

Everything was so much brighter. The world was a much more beautiful place. Suddenly everything was worth admiring, everything made Dan happy, everything was perfect.

Dan had been discharged, and he was going home.

Arin had insisted on driving his boyfriend, because a.) Dan likely wasn’t strong enough to drive yet and b.) Dan’s car wasn’t working (and wasn’t anywhere near the hospital parking lot). Arin also insisted on keeping one arm around Dan’s dainty waist at all times.

“Hey Dan?” Arin began as they left the building for the parking lot.

“Yeah?” Dan breathed in the scent of fresh suburban air for the first time in weeks, smiling. To him, this was the most beautiful scent he’d ever smelled.

“I’m proud of you, you know? You’re a fighter. Anyone could’ve just given up and let all their problems take them down, but you kept going and got better. That’s admirable, at least.” Arin smiled at his boyfriend. 

“I guess.” Dan was barely listening - he was too preoccupied with getting reacquainted with the familiar town beyond the hospital walls.

Arin noticed this and said nothing more, just silently walking Dan over to his car and helping him into the passenger seat.

On the ride to Dan’s house, Arin played Rush’s ‘Moving Pictures’ album, which Dan listened to gratefully (he hadn’t heard good music in forever, it seemed). Dan kept the window open and stuck his head out occasionally, laughing into the wind. He drank in the sights outside with wide eyes, appreciating all of the beauty that he’d never really noticed before. It was as if everything that was wonderful in however small a way it may be was suddenly brought into focus, painting a lovely picture of the world Dan had been passing by all his life without truly seeing it. A world he had missed when it was taken away.

At every red light Arin looked over at Dan and couldn’t help smiling - he was so cute, acting like a kid seeing the world for the first time. And it was sort of like that for Dan - he was rediscovering a world he had been out of touch with for weeks. It was like rebirth.

Finally, Arin parked in Dan’s driveway, climbed out of the car, walked around to the other side, opened Dan’s door, and helped him out all in one smooth, quick motion. “M’lady,” he said with a grin as he supported Dan on his way out of the car. 

“Thank you, coachman,” Dan said in a posh London accent, matching Arin’s grin. When Dan looked up, he inhaled a little gasp. “My house…”

It looked the same as it always did, but the way Dan was looking at it it must have been converted to a five-star personal getaway. He was looking at his house with so much glee in his eyes that Arin was surprised the lanky man hadn’t started to jump for joy on his endless grasshopper legs.

“It’s beautiful. Come on.” Arin wrapped his arm about Dan again and they waltzed into his house together like conquerors of the world. 

Dan had to touch every familiar object that they passed on their way to the couch - he brushed his fingertips against the end table, the framed sketch that Arin had drawn for Dan which was hanging on the wall, the banister, the vase of flowers on the coffee table in the living room, the book ( _ Watership Down _ ) that Dan had left on the coffee table with a bookmark next to it… everything was new in a way. It all looked fresher and cleaner in Dan’s eyes. 

Dan settled into the couch in his usual seat, smiling contently. He started to get a sense of just how much he’d missed his home.

“Want something to eat?” Arin asked Dan.

Dan balked. “Um…”

“C’mon. You gotta eat, man. You don’t want your anorexia to stay with you forever or your current state to worsen, do you?” 

“Well, no, but I ate plenty at the hospital and none of my food is good and -”

Arin ran to the kitchen and came back with a granola bar. “You’re eating a fucking granola bar, whether or not I have to force you to.”

“No, really, I’m not hungr -”

Before Dan could even register what was going on, he was on his back on the couch with Arin sitting on his hips. He almost felt like he couldn’t breathe as he watched Arin rip open the packaging of the granola bar. “The sell-by date on this is in another couple weeks. It’s fine.”

“Arin… please no…” Dan felt his breathing go heavy. He tried to shove Arin off of him, but the more muscular man wouldn’t budge. 

This was almost… kinda hot.

Arin pressed the tip of the granola bar against Dan’s mouth, but Dan forced his lips closed, determined to win. 

“Here comes the motherfucking airplane. EAT IT.”

“No,” Dan protested, muffled. 

Arin gave him a light slap across the face - barely hard enough to hurt. Just enough to get him to cooperate.

A moan slipped out of Dan’s mouth. While it was partially open, Arin stuffed the granola bar inside, causing Dan to yelp.

“You kinky motherfucker,” Arin said affectionately, with a glint of the devil in his eyes. “Bite down.” 

Dan did as he was told, biting off a chewable amount of granola bar and eating it, ignoring the feeling of mild discomfort and strong need for sexual attention building up inside. Arin pulled the granola bar away as Dan said, “I ate. You happy?”

“Nope. I won’t be happy til you eat the whole thing.”

“Well, I’m not eating any more.” Dan shut his mouth like a child refusing to eat vegetables.

“Oh yes, you are,” Arin growled, his tone deep.

Dan started to protest - but when he opened his mouth, Arin, without warning, forced the granola bar back inside, further than before. Dan didn’t cooperate, refusing to bite down, so Arin did it for him - grasping his chin and forcing him to chew.

Dan was trying his hardest not to give away the fact that something about Arin acting this way - all in control and demanding - was extremely hot. He felt his face burning, his toes curling, his stomach doing barrel turns as he tried to suppress a moan.

Once Dan had finished the whole granola bar, Arin grinned at him. “See? That wasn’t so bad, was it?”

Dan shrugged. 

“Well, how about if I reward you?”

“How?” Dan played dumb.

Arin answered by ripping off Dan’s t- shirt and pressing his lips to Dan’s pale chest.

Oh God… It felt like heaven. Dan closed his eyes and took in a sharp, shuddering breath. His fingers tangled in Arin’s hair and it felt better and better every time Arin’s lips landed somewhere on his body. Arin was obviously trekking down to what would be considered the equator in this situation. 

When Arin reached Dan’s hips, he stopped. He didn’t kiss either hip - instead, he rang his tongue along a milky strip of skin that ran from hip to hip, right above Dan’s waistband.

And damn, that feeling was  _ so _ good. Arin’s tongue was warm and spongy and it made Dan throw his head back and moan filthily, his grip on Arin’s hair tightening as he imagined that tongue in... _other places_.

Arin looked up. “Do you want me to suck your dick?” 

Dan couldn’t do anything but stutter nonsensically.

“C’mon baby, use your words.” Arin ran one finger along the waistband of Dan’s boxers under the elastic, letting it snap against Dan’s hip as he pulled his finger away. 

“Nnn… Suck my cock, please, Arin, God!”

“Already pleading?” Arin smirked, slowly unbuttoning Dan’s jeans and sliding them off of his mile-long toothpick legs. “Wonder how long it’ll take me to make you cum.”

At the word ‘cum’, Dan whimpered a little. God, he just wanted Arin to touch him, to take him…

Just when Arin was about to fulfill Dan’s wishes, Arin’s phone buzzed. “Fuck,” Arin muttered. He pulled his phone out of his pocket and checked it. He’d received a text, and his eyes widened as he read it. “Shit.”

“What is it?” Dan looked into Arin’s eyes. 

Arin’s face paled. “Dan, it’s Barry and Brian.”

_Oh, no. No, no, no._ "What happened to them?”

“Brian was driving Barry home after lunch yesterday… Dan, they got into an accident. A drunk driver hit them. Barry’s badly injured, and Brian’s on his deathbed. They don’t know if he’ll make it.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorrysorrysorrysorrysorry!!


	8. The Bright Side

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is the chapter where shit goes down. There's some mature territory ahead. Hopefully it's good? I don't know. It was simultaneously awkward and fun to write. I hope you guys like this chapter!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For anyone who didn't see my note on my other Grumps story, I'm delighted to say that I'm actually dating someone for the first time! We're both girls, so we're afraid to tell either set of parents - hers are anti-gay (which sucks), and mine are totally cool with it but would probably tell hers (which also sucks). But we love each other a lot and we'r super happy together. I actually just had her over today and we watched Sweeney Todd together which is a super romantic movie (not really XD). Anyway, yeah. I'm bisexual. That felt important to put out there. Anyway, here's a chapter. I hope you guys like it and I'm sorry it took so long!

School was a gloomy place without Brian and Barry. News had come in that they were alive, but nobody knew if that would be true for very long. It was one of those times where you wouldn’t question if someone broke out in spontaneous tears - but there was usually someone there to comfort the one crying. Barry’s students were often seen with Brian’s students, all of them a mourning group. They were the very image of grief, often with heads hanging low, shoulders slumped, sometimes crying, sometimes not. Smiles were seldom seen. But these kids had each other’s backs - if one were to start crying, another would be right there to wrap an arm around them and give them a shoulder to cry on.

Dan and Arin were miserable. Barry and Brian had been very, very close to both of them, and it was difficult for Dan and Arin to accept this. They were almost always together, always supporting each other. Arin sat in on more and more choir practices, and Dan spectated at more and more art classes. And they always had their lunches together, sometimes alone in one of their classrooms, sometimes in the teachers’ lounge. Arin was always there to make sure Dan was eating. Thankfully, Dan had gained back a healthy amount of weight, and was in danger of heart failure no longer. The joy of that fact was short-lived, immediately overshadowed by the tragedy that was Barry and Brian. It was becoming harder and harder to take.

On the bright side, the cast list for _13_ had been announced. As expected, Kiara was to be playing Patrice, Norm got the role of Evan, and a bunch of the other choir kids had gotten good roles. Dan couldn’t be happier for his kids and he congratulated them all at one of the practices. He met privately with Kiara to give her a hug, and he noticed with pride that her stuttering had gotten much better lately - she only stumbled over a few consonants now. She would regularly come see him for coaching on some of her songs, and Dan happily coached her. Arin would often come in to hear Kiara sing and provide an audience’s input… and stare at Dan, obviously. Whenever Dan ran into Kiara in the hallways, she was singing something from _13_ \- whether or not it was her part. It made Dan smile.

The _13_ leads had sort of banded together. They hung out all the time now, and would often be seen sitting together at lunch, which made Dan particularly happy - Kiara usually sat completely alone. Norm was also known to choose an empty table and open a book instead of joining the other kids. Now they were a part of the group. It was a particularly loud group - they didn’t speak loudly and obnoxiously, but they did sing quite loudly. Every lunch that the group spent together was a chorus of beautiful harmonies. They belted out their _13_ harmonies whether the surrounding kids liked it or not (they didn’t). There was something special about their singing - “‘Day turns to day turns to day…’”, “‘Why is the world feeling suddenly stranger? Why are my friends acting totally weird? Why do I feel like my life is in danger? Why do I feel like my brain disappeared?’”, etc. - that Dan couldn’t quite put his finger on. It was as if they were the only joy in a time of sadness, and it was beautiful.

One day later in the week, Dan addressed his choir in class. “I know you guys weren’t able to have your concert the week we planned it because I was slowly dying in the hospital, and I’m so sorry about that. But I have really good news! We’ll be performing next week on Friday, and it’s gonna be awesome!”

There was some slightly confused cheering, a smattering of applause.

Dan chuckled. “That wasn’t the reaction I was expecting.”

“Well... we’re kinda out of practice,” Andrianna, a logical girl in the first row, spoke up. “Our substitutes had no clue what they were doing, so we kinda just… did whatever.”

Dan shook his head in disbelief. “You mean you guys didn’t practice _at all_?”

“Not in class, we didn’t,” Andrianna responded.

Dan pressed his thumb to the bridge of his nose and took a deep breath to keep from freaking out. “Okay. That just means we’re going to practice even harder in the time leading up to next Friday! Okay?”

Now the applause sounded sure. Dan grinned and started up on ‘Seasons of Love’, and the choir sang it better than ever before.

* * *

That Saturday, Arin and Dan were out getting lunch at some average Mexican place together, getting ready for an all-afternoon, all-night gaming binge at Arin’s apartment, when Dan’s phone vibrated in the back pocket of his ripped jeans. He lazily pulled the device from his pocket, figuring it was just some stupid text from Ross or something that he could respond to later or ignore completely. Instead, what he saw made his eyes bug out of his skull.

A text from Barry.

**_We’re ok :)_ **

Dan read it fifteen times before it sunk in, and a massive weight was lifted from his shoulders. A grin spread across his face. Wordlessly, he showed the text to Arin, who had to read it the same number of times before he reacted. He grinned too, and the guys embraced right in the middle of that typical Mexican place, holding each other like they’d never let go, feeling relief, happiness, gratitude, that their friends were okay.

At Arin’s apartment, before they started a single game, Arin pulled out his computer and emailed Headmaster Fisbach about Barry and Brian, telling him that he should probably let all of the staff know, just to lift some grief off of them. Mark immediately responded, thanking them for informing him and saying he’d contact everyone right away.

With that over with, Arin and Dan grinned at each other. They made out for a while, played some Super Smash Bros. Melee, made out some more, played some Runbow, made out even more. And more. And more, until they completely forgot their gaming binge and instead tangled themselves up in each other on Arin’s bed, their lips meshed together, their hands all over each other. And then their shirts were off, the rest of their clothes mysteriously made their way to the floor without Arin or Dan remembering how they’d gotten there. Now, both of them naked and Arin on top of Dan in bed, it seemed like the right time, and they weren’t about to stop themselves. Not at all.

Arin began by kissing Dan. Taking it slow. He blazed a trail with his mouth, kissing over Dan’s jaw, his neck, collarbone, down his middle to his hips. He kissed both hips and flicked his gaze up to Dan, his long eyelashes weirdly captivating, something sweet and gentle in his warm brown eyes. Dan didn’t want him to stop. He whispered simply, “More,” and Arin understood, his hands fluttering around Dan’s thighs, trying to visualize the best way to go about this. He ended up with Dan’s legs hooked over his shoulders and his tongue on Dan’s chest, and Dan was moaning. Dan’s hands were tangled in Arin’s hair and the both of them were feeling and experiencing, having no real idea what they were doing since neither had done this - really done this - before.

Arin just let his mouth adventure around Dan’s body again, this time licking and biting him all over, and it felt good. Dan felt as if he was being attacked while simultaneously feeling like a baby bear being groomed friskily by a future mate. It was the strangest feeling, but Dan knew he wanted more in every bone in his skinny body. Arin gave him more, grazing his teeth over the soft skin along where the waistband of Dan’s boxers would fall had he been wearing them, making the thinner man moan out “Arin…” in an almost pained voice.

Dan tangled his fingers in Arin’s hair and pulled his face back up to his, staring into his eyes and noticing the lusty sparkle. “I want you inside of me,” Dan whispered. “I want you to fuck me right into your damn mattress, and I don’t want you to stop unless I say so.”

“Yes sir.” Arin pecked Dan’s cheek affectionately.

“When I said that, I meant NOW,” Dan sassed.

Arin grinned. “Sure thing.” He stuck one of his fingers in his mouth, coating it in saliva, and promptly inserted it into Dan’s ass with a cocky smirk.

Dan screamed right away, and Arin giggled at him. “What?”

Dan grunted once. “It’s just… It hurt at first. But give me more. Give me more now!”

“Anything you want, princess.” Just hearing Arin say that drove Dan wild.

Arin worked up to three fingers inside of Dan, moving slightly in and out, making Dan moan and grunt and hiss. It didn’t feel unnatural or even painful, just new and strange, and just wondrous enough to make Dan want something more. “Jesus, Ar, I can’t take it any more! I need you NOW!” he gasped out.

Arin said nothing, only calmly slicked his cock with spit and replaced his fingers with it. Dan adjusted in seconds, and almost immediately ordered Arin to move. With a certain strength and quickness about him, Arin began to thrust into Dan, growing faster and more forceful with every thrust.

Dan was moaning and screaming alternatingly by now, his nails already beginning to dig into Arin’s back, and every second he was telling Arin, “Harder, baby, harder! Faster, oh my God, right there! Right there!” and variations of that. And it was brand new, and it was exciting, it was strange and wonderful, and the experience was one of those you never forget.

And to think just days ago they’d been holding each other in Dan’s empty classroom, crying over the temporary loss of their friends.

It wasn’t long before Danny was screaming, “ARRRIINNN!!!” and was completely done. And then Arin was following, and then they were done, Arin was out, it was over, and they were lying side by side in Arin’s bed, smiling at each other.

Arin tucked a strand of Dan’s hair behind his ear. “You okay, baby?”

“Are you kidding? That was awesome.” Dan smiled, his starry eyes lighting up the dimness around them. “I fucking love you, you know that?”

“I love you too, Sexy Kitten.” Arin gently kissed Dan’s forehead. “Do you want to go to sleep or shower and play some more video games?”

“Video games, obviously! It’s only like three PM.”

“You’re right.” Arin laughed at himself and helped Dan out of bed, trying not to observe the mess they’d made so he wouldn’t have to think about cleaning it up later.

The guys, after showering (separately), lazily threw on boxers and t-shirts and plopped onto the couch, sighing simultaneously, then laughing when they saw that they’d left Runbow paused in the middle of a super intense match.

“Wanna play something else?” Arin suggested.

“Yes please. I’m in the mood for some Sportsball.” So they played the ridiculous game where you joust on birds, like an expanded version of the old arcade game _Joust!_ , laughing their asses off at just how silly it was and just being thoroughly happy to be in each other’s company. Halfway through one of their matches, Dan leaned his head on Arin’s shoulder and refused to move away, and Arin let one of his ankles cross with one of Dan’s ankles. They smiled briefly at each other, then returned to their game, laughing more.

_As far as days go_ , Dan had to admit, _this is a really damn perfect one_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again I apologize for how long it took for me to write this. I love you all and thanks for reading this story!


	9. Brilliance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's finally time for 13!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My God am I sorry for taking so frickin long to update! I've been really damn busy lately, super booked up with Grease rehearsals and stuff. Sorry for making a lot of excuses. But yeah, here's a chapter. It's not that great, sorry.

A month and a half later, Dan and Arin were settling excitedly into their red velvet auditorium seats, dressed to impress in button-down shirts and dress pants with their hair looking relatively neat, discreetly holding hands and ready to watch the middle school performance of _13_. They’d hung out earlier at Dan’s house, singing songs from _Hamilton_ and having microwave dinner that was made somehow romantic just by the fact that Arin held Dan’s hand over the table and told him halfway through the meal, “You look stunning tonight, my dear,” in an overdone Victorian gentleman voice.

“I’m so fuckin’ pumped,” Arin said, staring daggers at the curtain as if willing it to rise.

Dan lay a hand on Arin’s thigh. “So am I. I can’t wait to see all my babies up there.” He smiled and leaned back in his chair, crossing one leg over the other.

Arin looked over at Dan, but not his face. Arin was looking concernedly at Dan’s stomach. “You’ve been getting dangerously skinny lately. You okay, babe?”

Dan was hoping Arin wouldn’t notice, but he’d been getting those paranoid feelings again. Those feelings of ‘I’m not good enough, I don’t look good enough.’ But then a little inner voice would tell him he was hungry, and he’d quiet the voice until he couldn’t stand it any longer, and then he’d just eat and eat and eat. Gorge himself on whatever shitty food he could find in his fridge, and then -

Dan bit his lip to keep from crying. “I’m fine.”

“You sure?” Arin was obviously skeptical.

“Totally sure. I’m really okay, I promise.” Dan said this to convince both Arin and himself. He was always careful not to purge when he was around Arin or about to be around Arin, and forced his eating schedule to be normal around his boyfriend. It felt dastardly, hiding this from Arin who could probably help him, but he just couldn’t stop. Something in his head was fucked up and he couldn’t. He despised himself. He thought himself to be stupid, selfish… There was so much in his life to be happy about, to make him feel worthy. There were his students, his friends who had survived a horrible accident with only a few scars, and of course his amazing boyfriend. Why couldn’t he feel comfortable and happy in his own fucking body? _I should be happy. I should be so fucking happy._

The curtain fluttered, pulling Dan out of his depressing thoughts. The lights flashed on and off, and Mark Fishbach marched up onto the stage. The headmaster of the school was handsome and humorous, probably the coolest headmaster that had ever existed, and he smiled out at the crowd like he was welcoming old friends.

“Hello everyone! Welcome to our school’s production of _13: The Musical_!” There was applause throughout the theater, and Mark, grinning, started talking about the musical and whatever else you’d expect someone introducing a school production to say (Dan and Arin accidentally tuned out most of it).

“I’d like to introduce your director, Mr. Matthew Patrick, and musical director, Mr. Daniel Avidan! Could you two maybe give a wave?”

Dan, a little stunned, stood along with Matt (who was sitting maybe three seats away, also in the front row) and waved, smiling at the crowd. There were some cheers and some clapping, Arin’s applause especially wild. He squeezed Dan’s hand when Dan sat back down, giving him an adoring smile.

“Alright, I’ve talked long enough. Let the show begin!”

Wild applause. The house lights went down, the stage lights went up, and _This is it!_ ran through Dan’s head several times at a dizzying pace. He felt electric.

Dan leaned forward and squeezed Arin’s hand (harder than he meant to) when Norm appeared on stage, lit up by a spotlight.

“‘I’m Evan Goldman. I live at 224 West 92nd Street, in the heart of Manhattan. And my life just went to hell.’” Norm was fantastic already. He was dressed up in a costume that wasn’t even really a costume (jeans, a regular gray shirt with some sort of pattern on it that Dan couldn’t place, sneakers) and his face had what looked like foundation on it (his skin tone matched Kiara’s - maybe it was hers) and his hair looked fantastic (combed and side-parted) and he was saying his lines with confidence and the exact emotion he needed to be feeling at the time.

The music began to play, and Norm started to sing. “‘Picture me, just another cool kid in NYC, near the park and the Met. Life is sweet, Yankees in the Bronx, pretzels on the street, just how good could it get? Who’d have guessed Dad would meet a stewardess, Mom’s depressed and her lawyers are mean…’”

Dan and Arin looked at each other and simultaneously mouthed ‘Holy shit’. Norm was amazing! He played the role so fucking well, his voice hitting every note flawlessly. He sounded better than he sounded in tech rehearsal, which had seemed unobtainable at the time but apparently was.

When the Ensemble kids appeared and sang “‘Thirteen!’” and began to dance, Dan and Arin grinned. They were _killin’ it_. A lot of the Ensemble were choir kids, and seeing all of them doing their choreography like it was the most fun activity in the world made Dan think back to the concert several weeks ago. The choir had been utterly fantastic, and they’d received a standing ovation (which, Dan had to admit, they deserved). It seemed impossible for them to do any better than they had, but right now, they were. This choir had gone from incredible to beyond incredible, and it was a beautiful thing to watch.

Arin firmly grasped Dan’s hand. “Are you proud of them?” he whispered.

Dan nodded. “It feels like they’re my own kids.”

“They pretty much are.” Arin squeezed Dan’s hand and they returned their attention to the stage, with the words Arin had just said spinning and spinning in Dan’s mind.

Kiara appeared a bit later, making Dan want to stand up and cheer. She looked fantastic, costumed and perfectly in character. When she started to sing “Lamest Place In The World”, Dan fought back tears. It was like watching his own daughter break out of her shell - this new Kiara (well, Patrice) was confident and outgoing, everything that Kiara had become after years of being shy and quiet. This new Kiara was here to stay.

Dan clapped louder than anyone else when she finished singing, smiling so hard that his face hurt. Kiara caught his eye and gave him the slightest, most subtle wink before returning to character.

* * *

 

The show continued, and Dan and Arin - and probably everyone else in the audience - were amazed the whole time. It was like watching a Broadway show, except all of the actors were… really tiny. But they were just as talented as any adult cast.

At the intermission, Dan turned to Arin and exclaimed, “Oh my God!” There were tears in his eyes already.

Arin held Dan in his arms and kissed his cheek. “I know, baby, I know. They’re amazing.”

“Hey, is Dan alright?”

Arin looked up at who had just spoken - Matthew, the director. The drama teacher was pretty cute, with semi-wavy chestnut hair, and sparkling brown eyes. “Yeah. He’s just getting emotional over how fantastic all the kids are.”

Matt smiled, chuckling kindly. “I cried a little too. It’s alright.” He set a hand on Dan’s shoulder, and Dan looked up, wiping tears from his eyes.

“Hi Matt,” Dan said with a smile.

“Hey Dan! I was just coming over to say hello.” Matt’s more-peppy-than-usual tone was enough to make Arin suspicious - was Matt into Dan?

“Well, hello,” Dan said politely, grinning up at Matt. “Aren’t our kids brilliant?”

“They sure are.” Matt smiled. “Norm and Kiara are especially awesome!”

“They sure are.” Dan and Matt chuckled together, and Matt grabbed Dan’s arm.

Arin tried not to get all yandere on them - he felt left out of this conversation, and Matt had his hands all over Dan (in Arin’s brain, at least). It was like Matt and Dan were the couple here! “So want to go to the diner after the show? I’ll buy you a milkshake.” Matt smiled innocently, like he hadn’t just asked out Arin’s boyfriend RIGHT IN FRONT OF HIM.

“That’d be great.” Dan smiled innocently right back like he hadn’t just accepted RIGHT IN FRONT OF HIS FUCKING BOYFRIEND!

Arin kept his anger at bay though, steaming in silence while Matt and Dan smiled at each other like Marius and Cosette. And poor Arin was Eponine.

“Should we go talk to the kids backstage before Act Two?” Matt suggested.

“Sure!” Dan didn’t even glance at Arin before he got up, and Danny and Sandy hurried towards the backstage door.

Arin crossed his arms and slumped like an angry child. An image popped into his brain - an image of Matt backing Dan up against a backstage wall and kissing him hard, away from the eyes of any students. And in Arin’s mind, Dan was enjoying it much more than he’d ever enjoyed anything he'd done with Arin.

_Stop it_ , Arin told himself. _You know Dan loves you and wouldn’t dream of making out with anyone else while you’re together. Once he comes back, you can ask him, if you’re so paranoid_.

That’s exactly what he did once Dan returned to his seat. “Hey, baby?”

“Yes, Ar?” Dan smiled.

“Um, forgive me, but… are you and Matt… uh…”

Dan laughed, but not unkindly. “No, Arin. Matt and I aren’t into each other. I can’t believe you think I’d do something so sleazy!” Dan looked from side to side, then leaned closer to Arin and whispered, “He’s like six years younger than me!”

“Yeah, I mean, I’m sorry -”

“I’m not a whore, Arin.”

“I know, I just thought - um -”

“It’s alright, sweetie.” Dan patted Arin’s knee. “Just have some faith in me, okay?”

“I do, I promise. I love you.”

“And I love you.”

They kissed quickly as the house lights flashed. The curtains rose and Act Two began.

Act Two was just as stunning as Act One, the whole cast absolutely on the whole time. They shone just as bright as they had been doing the whole time. On stage, it was as if all of the kids were new people, and the transformation was a fascinating one.

By the time the cast was taking their bows, Dan was bawling, his face a total mess with tears. He was the first to stand up during the final standing ovation, pounding his hands together until they turned pink.

The house lights went up, and Dan grabbed Arin’s hand. “Let’s go see ‘em.”

The couple weaved through the crowd, fighting their way towards the backstage door where the kids would be coming out once they’d changed into normal clothes. All of the other audience members poured into the hallway after them, waiting for the stars to make their appearance.

The first out were some ensemble members. Dan hugged the choir kids and congratulated the kids he didn’t know. Everyone was all smiles, and the entire hallway was a buzz of activity and joy.

Some of the other principles exited, all of them from the choir, and Dan hugged them all. But he was really waiting for Kiara.

When she came out into the hallway, Dan threw his arms around her. “You were so amazing and I love you so much!” he said to her.

“Thanks so much Dan!” Kiara was crying the kind of tears you cry when you can’t contain your happiness so it overflows out of your eyes.

Dan’s eyes met Kiara’s. He gave her a sound pat on the shoulder. “You’re going places,” he told her with certainty.

Kiara smiled gratefully. She couldn’t think of a thing to say to her father figure who had, in her heart, replaced the father that had left her family three years ago. So she said nothing. She just hugged Dan again, then hurried off to find Matt.

Norm came out of the backstage area… hand in hand with Antonio, the choir class clown who’d played Archie in the show. Dan opened his arms and enveloped both boys in a massive hug. “You were both fantastic!”

“Thanks, Dad!” the boys said simultaneously, then laughed at their mistake.

“Dan is what we meant.” Antonio cracked a grin.

“It’s alright. Now go sign some autographs!” The three grinned at each other, an understanding passing between Dan and the boys standing in front of him. Dan watched them go, still holding hands.

“They’re so cute,” Arin said, clearly watching the boys as well.

“They sure are.”

When Norm looked over his shoulder, Dan waved at him and smiled. Norm smiled back before turning back around.

Arin turned to Dan as they started for the main door. “We should go to the diner. I’ll buy you a milkshake.”

Dan laughed, taking Arin’s hand, and they headed out into the night together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much for reading! I love you all a real bunch!


	10. Over

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shit goes down at the cast party.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well my girlfriend left me last week so this chapter is inspired by that event. Also I have to ask you guys - would you rather see a happy ending or a sad ending? Because I have plans for both of them ((the happy ending would be more fluffy, but the sad ending would a. add more meaning and b. work more with my style.)) Leave your votes in the comments!

“‘A toast to the groom, to the bride, from your sister who’s always by your side…’”

A cheer went up from the students filling the room as Kiara sang. She was standing at the very center of the room, belting 'Satisfied' from Hamilton into a wireless karaoke microphone while some other cast members danced around her. Those who didn’t want to dance congregated along the edges of the room. Arin and Dan were a part of the latter group.

“‘I know my sister like I know my own mind, you will never find anyone as trusting or as kind, if I tell her that I love him she’d be silently resigned, he’d be mine, she would say ‘I’m fine’, she’d be lying…’” Kiara’s beautiful belt resonated throughout the choir room, where the _13_ cast party was being held. It was the night after the show itself, and the students all seemed to be having a blast (and so were the adults - Dan, Arin, Matt, and a few others who had helped out with the show).

“‘And I know she’ll be happy as his bride, and I know he will never be satisfied, I will never be satisfied.’”

Applause rang throughout the room. Dan and Arin smiled at each other, proud of ‘their little girl’.

“Hey, guys!” Matt wandered over, a Diet Coke in hand. “Enjoying the party?”

“You bet!” Dan’s upbeat response made Arin wring his hands behind his back. He still couldn’t get over the feeling that there was something going on between Dan and Matt.

“That’s good.” Matt looked out to the center of the room, where Norm and Antonio had started up a genderbent 'Take Me Or Leave Me' from _RENT_. He chuckled. “Oh, those two. I’m going to go watch.” He whispered something in Dan’s ear that Arin couldn’t hear, but he already didn’t like it - it made Dan’s cheeks go pink.

Matt left Dan and Arin alone, and Arin turned to his boyfriend. “What did he say to you?”

“Oh, something about the leftover costumes.” Dan really was a horrible liar - Arin could see right through him.

“Is that so?”

“Uh-huh.” Dan wouldn’t meet Arin’s eyes.

Arin sighed. _What good would it do me to pressure him into telling the truth? I’ll just let him off the hook._ “Whatever. Wanna go dance? I mean, once they play something a little more danceable?”

“Sure,” Dan said smilingly, clearly relieved.

Once Norm and Antonio finished their hilarious and amazing rendition of 'Take Me Or Leave Me', one of the Ensemble boys stepped up to the mic and sang a much, much more danceable song - 'Sex Is In The Heel' from _Kinky Boots_. Dan and Arin, laughing, started dancing exuberantly to the incredibly catchy, funky jam, busting out lots of weird ‘80s moves and just having a good time.

It wasn’t until much later that Dan and Arin stopped dancing, and Dan decided to sing. He kissed Arin’s cheek quickly, then hurried up to the karaoke mic. “I wanna sing ‘Those Magic Changes’ from _Grease_ … if that’s okay,” he said, smiling a little shyly.

The music started, and Dan sung softly, “‘C C C C C C A A A A-minor F F F F F F G G G G-seven…’”

What’s that playing on the radio? Why do I start swaying to and fro? I have never heard that song before, but if I don’t hear it anymore… It’s still familiar to me, sends a thrill right through me, ‘cause those chords remind me of the night that I first fell in love to… Those magic changes….’” His eyes locked with Arin’s, and he winked.

People paired up and swayed together as Dan’s gorgeous voice filled the room. His voice fit the song perfectly, and the beauty of the sound was almost overwhelming. Arin held back tears and smiled, his heart melting. That was _his_ _boyfriend_ sounding so beautiful, clearly singing about him.

When Dan finished singing, everyone applauded like crazy, cheering and clapping. “Thank you!” Dan took a bow and hurried towards Arin, leaping into his arms like they hadn’t seen each other in years. Arin twirled him around and giggled.

Not a half hour later, Dan disappeared.

Arin and Dan had been sitting in folding chairs along the edges of the room, drinking bottled water, when Dan whispered, “I’m going to the bathroom,” in Arin’s ear, stood, left the room, and didn’t come back.

When Dan had been gone for fifteen minutes, a worried Arin decided to search for him. He ducked quickly out of the room, leaving the joyful sounds of the party behind.

The obvious first place to look was the bathroom, as that’s where Dan said he’d gone. The nearest bathroom was completely empty. Arin checked Dan’s classroom, his own classroom, and Matt’s classroom, all of which were deserted. Then, by some miracle, Arin thought to check the theatre, and found the lights on, and an unmistakable moan coming from backstage. It was the same pornographic tenor moan that Arin had heard in his bed not three days ago, and had been hearing in said bed for two months now. Dan.

Arin ran backstage, and he found exactly what he feared he’d find.

Matt had Dan pressed up against the wall, one hand up his shirt, the other pulling his hair gently. Their mouths were meshed together, and Arin couldn’t tell why Dan’s hands were on Matt’s chest. Was he trying to push him away? Because he sure seemed to be enjoying Matt’s ministrations far too much for that.

“ _What is going on here_!?” Arin bellowed.

Both men jumped, Matt leaping away from Dan. “Nothing!” Matt squeaked.

“Don’t even!” Arin glared at Matt, then at Dan. “Someone explain to me. Now.”

“Honey, it wasn’t what it looked like.” Dan’s voice was barely audible.

“Oh, really? Because it looked like you were willingly making out with Matt, _honey_.” Arin mockingly spat out the pet name.

Dan just swallowed and stared at the floor, looking like he wanted to die.

“Why don’t you join us, Ar?” Matt asked, his voice a few shades lower.

“Forget it. I’m out of here. I’m going the fuck home.”

“Sweetheart -” Dan started.

“Shut the FUCK up, Dan! I was IN LOVE with you! I was going to fucking propose to you! I guess you didn’t feel the same.” Angry tears were flowing down Arin’s face by now. “We’re over. Good fuckin’ bye.”

He whipped around and stomped away, ignoring Dan’s pleas for him to stay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please leave comments telling me which ending you'd prefer! Thanks for reading, I love you all!


	11. Underwater

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This one is INTENSE.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, the requests for a happy ending were overwhelming XD Not one vote for sad! That's okay. I found a way to involve all of the meaningful events that were going to happen in the sad ending and tweak them so that I could make a happy ending with just as much meaning. Thank you guys so much for your sweet comments, I love reading them! You guys are the best, and I really do love you all. Thank you so much for sticking around for so long!

School for Dan and Arin was just as bleak as it had been when Barry and Brian were on their deathbeds. The hallways felt like a dim gray to them, while to everyone else, they were splotched with color and sunlight from the big windows letting in the golden early-summer light.

Dan refused to leave his classroom once he got there every morning. He would just sit there, not eating, not doing really anything besides listening to 80s rock (even ‘Karma Chameleon’ and ‘The Analog Kid’ couldn’t raise his spirits), while Arin spent as much time avoiding the arts hallway as possible. They obviously didn’t want to see one another… but Arin couldn’t help but hope in some secret corner of his heart that Dan would come to him and apologize, and Dan couldn’t help secretly hoping that Arin would knock on the door and listen to his explanation.

Their students noticed definite changes in the behaviour of their teachers. Dan’s students saw their teacher grow thinner and thinner until he looked like a walking corpse. They heard his voice, quieted, weak, sad. They saw through his thin smile, and one of the Alto girls reported hearing him sobbing when she passed the classroom on her way to Algebra. Dan was a whole new person, and the change wasn’t for the better. Even though the Wednesday of next week would mean summer for everyone, Dan seemed to be caught in his own winter.

Arin didn’t seem defeated, like Dan. He just seemed to go a little crazy. The bags under his eyes were unmistakable, and he spoke with the loud, forced tone of someone holding back tears. It was like he was hiding his hurt behind a facade of energy. When one of the students asked if he was okay, he exclaimed, “Why wouldn’t I be? Everything is simply _peachy_.” It was obvious that he was lying.

One day, some choir and art students - including Kiara, Norm, and Antonio - sat together at lunch and theorized about what was going on.

“Mr. Avidan obviously hasn’t eaten anything all week. The poor guy is wasting away!” Norm slipped his fingers through Antonio’s.

“Yeah, and Mr. Hanson hasn’t slept. He and Mr. Avidan have both been… not themselves all week,” said Natalie, a girl who took both Choir and Art.

“You never see them together anymore,” said Kiara. “Usually they’re always together, holding hands, grabbing each other’s butts in the hallways, you know. Now they won’t even look at each other.”

“Do you think they broke up?” said Phil, an art kid.

“They might’ve. But why?” David, a choir kid, furrowed his eyebrows in thought.

“Hey, guys. Look.” Antonio pointed to Arin, who was on lunch duty. Arin was glaring at something - when the kids followed his gaze, they saw that he was staring daggers at none other than Matt, who was glaring right back.

“They look like they want to murder each other!” Kiara quietly exclaimed.

“Mr. Patrick probably has something to do with the breakup,” said Phil thoughtfully.

“I think you’re right,” Norm said to Phil.

The kids sat in thought, stumped.

Meanwhile, Dan was secretly leaving school, heading to the nearest diner.

Like a ghost, Dan moved through the doors, barely registering that he was even there. He ordered a grilled cheese sandwich, a blueberry muffin, a slice of apple pie, an order of chicken tenders, a Kansas City wrap, and a side of fries to go. When asked why he was ordering so much food, he automatically said, “For my coworkers.”

He returned to school with the bag of food, slipping into the back door that led to the arts hallway. Once safely in his classroom, he laid out what he’d purchased on his desk.

He sighed, let a single tear fall, and started eating.

He ate like he hadn’t eaten in weeks, which was very understandable as all he’d consumed in two weeks was water. The tears kept falling as he gorged himself, eating faster than he ever had. Every bite of food he shoved past his lips was followed by another, sometimes before he finished chewing. And it all tasted simultaneously delicious and terrible. It was like he had lost control of himself. His stomach started gurgling almost immediately, making Dan feel like he was getting gutted. By the time he’d finished every last bit of the food, he felt like his stomach was going through a meat grinder. He slapped a palm over his mouth and sprinted to the bathroom, throwing open a stall door and collapsing to his knees in front of the toilet.

By some amazing twist of fate, Arin happened to be heading to the same bathroom as Dan at the time, just to fix his hair in the mirror. He heard the sounds of someone puking their guts out, and raced to the stall where the sounds were coming from.

It didn’t even bother Arin that it was Dan who was purging at that moment. He hurried forward and pulled Dan’s hair back and out of the way.

Dan paused for a moment, sobbed once, choked out, “Ar-”, then started throwing up again.

“Shh, baby, it’s okay. Everything’s gonna be okay. You’re okay.” Arin held Dan’s wild hair with one hand and rubbed his back with the other. Arin could see tears coursing down Dan’s face, and it made him feel awful.

“Aw, honey. You’ll be alright.” Arin used the hand on Dan’s back to massage the back of Dan’s neck.

_Dan’s bulimic. I can’t believe I didn’t notice._ Arin was starting to hate himself. _How could I have abandoned this poor guy without even letting him explain?_

Now Arin was crying. “Everything’s g-good,” he choked out.

There was a lull in Dan’s vomiting, and he rasped out, “Don’t cry, Ar.”

“I can’t stop, god dammit.”

When Dan felt better, Arin helped him up and threw his arms around him. Dan, sobbing, held Arin tightly with his frail arms.

“A-Ari-n-n -”

“Shh, sweetie. Come with me.” Arin, releasing Dan, gently pulled him over to one of the sinks.

Arin wet a paper towel and used it to clean off Dan’s face. Dan rinsed his mouth out with water once Arin had finished.

Dan wiped his eyes. “Arin, I - I want to explain why Matt was kissing me.”

Arin rubbed his own eyes. “I don’t know if I want to hear it.”

“Arin, please! Please let me explain.” Dan gave Arin a pleading stare.

Arin exhaled sharply. “Fine. Let’s go to my classroom. It’s more private.”

Arin led Dan to his classroom, an arm around his waist to ensure that he didn’t fall over. Once they were inside, he pulled the door shut, sat Dan down in a comfortable chair, and pulled his desk chair over to sit across from him.

“Alright. Just tell me.” Arin folded his arms. “And please don’t cry or else I’ll cry and I don’t particularly want to. And after this, you’re going home. I’m telling Mark that you were puking your guts out and need to stay home for the rest of the day.”

Dan swallowed. “O-Okay.”

So, when Matt and I started working on the play together, I could tell that he had eyes for me. He was always touching me for no reason, like putting a hand on my shoulder or something, and he was almost always looking at me and trying to make excuses to be near me. And I was so not into him and very into you, so I tried to act like we were just friends. He seemed to get the wrong idea and think I liked him or something. So at the party, what he whispered to me when I lied about the costumes was ‘Meet me backstage later, hon.’”

“And yet, you accepted his invitation! Why?”

Dan lowered his head a little, pulling his knees to his chest. “I thought maybe he wanted to just tell me something important or something like that. I know it was stupid, but that’s what I really thought. When he started kissing me, I tried to push him away, but my arms were too weak from not eating.” Here, he took a shaky breath. “I think he thought I was into it because I had my hands on him in an attempt to escape. So he took it further… I know it shouldn’t have felt good, but you can’t help moaning when someone touches you… like that. No matter who it is.”

“True,” Arin commented, making Dan chuckle a little bit.

“When you showed up, I was so embarrassed that I’d ever even gone back there with him, and my mind wasn’t working properly because of the shock and lack of caloric intake, so I couldn’t think of a way to explain myself on the spot, especially with you in such a mood.” Dan’s eyes were filled with tears by now. “I never would have gone if I’d known what he was going to do. I’m so angry at myself for ever even going backstage with Matt, or letting him kiss me for so long. I’m sorry, Arin.” Dan hid his face and sobbed.

Arin set a hand on Dan’s shoulder. “Thanks for telling me. Alright. Go home, man. You look awful.”

Dan’s eyes still had hope in them. “Do you forgive me?”

“I do. But I don’t think we’re quite ready to get back together. I still can’t believe you let it go so far. I… I don’t think we can get back together right now.” Arin hated himself for saying it, but it was the truth. Well, sort of. The truth was that he missed Dan a lot, and he wanted him back… but he didn’t know if he could trust Dan anymore.

Dan’s face fell. “Okay,” he mumbled. He stood up and went to the door, wobbling a little. “Thanks for listening.” Gloomily, he left the room, letting the door shut behind him.

Arin buried his face in his hands and cried.

* * *

 

A warm breeze pulled softly at Dan’s curly hair as he stood by the brook in his backyard, peering into the murky water as evening settled around him. He had brought a dumbbell out here and set it on the riverbank, exhausted. The weight was heavy enough that if it was placed on his head, he wouldn’t be able to lift it. His head would be trapped.

_Arin doesn’t love me. I’m a horrible, horrible human being who cheats on their lovers and has a fucked-up enough brain to get numerous eating disorders. I don’t deserve to live._

_I’m going to do it. I’m going to let the water engulf me until I can’t breathe anymore._

He lay on his stomach in the grass, one hand resting on the dumbbell. He paused there, thinking back to everything he enjoyed about life. Reflecting on it. What good had he provided the world?

He’d made forty kids into the best choir on the East Coast. He’d helped a young girl find confidence in herself. He’d made Arin feel loved - then hurt him badly. That’s what he’d done.

Dan peered into the water. _Why am I waiting?_

Instead of answering his own question, he started to sing softly. ‘Wish You Were Here’ by Pink Flloyd.

_I’ll miss Arin most of all._

* * *

 

Arin parked in Dan’s driveway, sweating and wondering if he should really do this. Was there still hope for him and Dan? Should he even bother to try?

He squared his shoulders, deciding he might as well go for it. He picked up the bouquet of flowers he had in the passenger seat and started towards Dan’s front door, ready to ask for him back.

Before Arin made it to the door, he paused. He thought he’d heard something from the backyard… was that… Dan? Dan singing Pink Flloyd?

Curious, Arin changed his course, heading to the backyard, following the sound. He saw Dan lift the weight. Saw him lower his face into the water and set the weight on his head, holding it under.

_Ohmygodohmygodohmygod._

Dropping the flowers, Arin hurtled across the grass, running faster than he ever had to where Dan lay with his face underwater. Arin grabbed the dumbbell, using all of his strength to pull it up and off of Dan’s head. It was a struggle, but he managed to quickly get it off and set it aside. He yanked at the back of Dan’s shirt, pulling his head out of the water as hurriedly as possible.

Dan coughed and spluttered, water streaming out of his mouth and nose, soaking the neckline of his shirt. He fell weakly against Arin, depending solely on Arin’s strong arms to hold him up. Arin held Dan tightly, saying, “What the hell were you doing, sweetie? Why would you fucking do that?”

And then they were crying, and Arin was holding Dan in his lap, rocking him gently back and forth. Dan gripped Arin like he’d never let him go.

“Danny -” Arin started once they’d both calmed down a little. He grabbed Dan’s face in both hands, staring into his eyes. “Honey, why the hell did you try to drown yourself?”

“Everything. You and I were done. I had lost everything I ever needed. I felt horrible. Everyone would be better off without me.” Dan’s voice was raspy and tight.

“I was coming here tonight to ask for you back. Daniel, baby, I - I love you.”

“I love you too, Arin.” Dan rested his head on Arin’s chest.

“Will you be my boyfriend? Again?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There will be an epilogue, don't worry!


	12. Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The end of this story.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here we are, guys. The very last chapter. I'll say my goodbyes (and reveal some special news) in the end notes. I hope you guys like this, I got very sentimental while writing it!

“... And I just wanted to say, thank you all so much for being the most amazing choir ever. I love each and every one of you and I’m so incredibly proud of you all. I love you guys!” By the end of Dan’s speech, he was tearing up.

It was the last day of school, and Dan was saying a final goodbye to the choir kids. Some of the kids were crying too. Kiara hurried from her spot on the riser to throw her arms around Dan, causing the rest of the kids to pile on, forming a massive group hug. The coming of summer was bittersweet for them all.

When all the other kids had left to attend their homeroom parties, Kiara remained. “Mr. Avidan… I just wanted to say thank you. I’ve sorta... considered you my dad for a few months. My real dad divorced my mom a while ago. So thanks a lot for always being there for me, and helping me to gain confidence in myself, and everything.” With tears in her eyes, she hugged Dan again.

“You’re welcome, Ki. Thank you for being such an amazing addition to the choir. I’m so, so proud of you. You’ve grown so much since the beginning of the year, and I’m amazed by it. Thanks for being such a great student and friend, Kiara. Good luck in high school next year!”

They hugged one more time, then Kiara left the choir room for the last time. Dan, smiling and wiping tears from his eyes, crossed the hall to Arin’s classroom. He’d said goodbye to his art students earlier that day as well.

“Hi, honey!” Dan called when he entered the room.

Arin looked up from his computer with a grin. “Hey there, space cowboy.”

Dan trotted to Arin’s desk and leaned over to kiss Arin’s forehead. “Ready for summer?”

“Only if I get to spend the whole thing with you.”

Dan giggled and sat down in Arin’s lap. “I wouldn’t be against that.”

They grinned at each other, and then they were kissing. And it felt like all they’d ever needed.

* * *

 

“How much longer?”

“Just a little bit more. C’mon.”

“Are you sure it’ll be worth it?”

“Baby, I promise.”

Arin had been leading Dan somewhere for what felt like five hours but was probably closer to five minutes. It was midsummer, and they’d been hanging out at Arin’s place all that day. Now that the sun was beginning to set, Arin had claimed he had a surprise for Dan, brought him outside, and started taking him somewhere. They’d been crossing roads and cutting through yards for a while now, and Dan had no clue where they were going.

Now, they were in a large public park close to the edge of town. It featured a hill with a lone oak atop it, which happened to be the highest point in town. Right now, they were climbing up that steep, grassy hill.

They reached the peak just in time to see what Arin liked to think of as the prettiest time of day. Dan gasped when he saw the entire suburban town spread before him like a patchwork quilt, and a few large hills in the distance that probably housed little towns of their own. The sun was just setting, turning everything pink-gold, the entire sky a vibrant, endless expanse of orange and pink that eventually faded to lavender. The town’s lights were just beginning to flicker on, and they lit the town like a field of stars. The middle school was visible from here - the first-floor windows were lit up like candles in the evening’s glow.

As the sun slipped behind the distant hills, Arin turned to Dan, locking eyes with him. Then, Arin pulled a small black box out of his pocket and sank onto one knee. “Leigh Daniel Avidan,” he began, flicking open the velvet box. Inside, on a single swatch of white satin, sat a beautiful silver ring. “I love you and I want to spend the rest of my life with you, however long that may be. I want to spend my days playing video games with you and singing and drawing and joking around with you. I want to have sex with you all the time if we feel like it. I want to spend Sunday afternoons cuddling on the couch with you and Friday nights at the karaoke with you. I want to raise beautiful children with you and go on family vacations and have a family game night and family dinners. I want to always be there for you.” Now Arin and Dan were both crying. Dan had both hands pressed to his mouth in surprise and joy.

“Will you marry me?” Arin asked in a teary voice.

“Of course, you dumbass!” Dan cried. Arin stood up, taking Dan’s hand and smiling. Arin slid the ring onto Dan’s finger, then pressed his lips to his. They shared a kiss on that hill until real stars were glittering overhead in the endless black cloak of night sky.

* * *

 

“Hey, baby?”

“Yes, dear?”

It was a crisp fall night, three years into Arin and Dan’s happy marriage. They’d still been teaching, in those same classrooms across the hall from each other… except now they were _married_.

“Do you remember our first kiss?” Arin asked.

Dan smiled, kissing his husband on the cheek. “I remember, obviously. It felt like heaven.”

“And remember how we pretended Kiara was our daughter?”

“Of course. She still writes me sometimes.”

“Remember how I was always just across the hall?”

Dan sat beside Arin on the couch, looking confused. “Why are you asking me all this? How could I ever forget?”

“I just wanted to make sure.” Arin shrugged. “And lead up to asking you if… if you want to adopt a kid.”

Dan squealed happily and kissed Arin quickly. “Of course!”

“Okay, good.” Arin grinned, wrapping an arm around his husband. “Because I want one too.”

* * *

 

They adopted a baby girl a month later. They named her Kiara.

* * *

 

“I’m so, so proud of you, Ki. Good luck in high school.” Dan was giving his daughter a final hug before she left for her first day of high school.

Kiara laughed, brushing back her long brown hair so it fell behind her ears. “I’ll be fine, Dad. Jesus. Lemme say goodbye to Dad.” She extracted herself from Dan’s embrace and hugged Arin, who was standing right next to Dan.

“Bye, sweetie!” Arin and Dan called simultaneously, waving to their daughter as she headed up the bus stairs. Kiara turned back and waved to them with a smile, then hurried up the last couple steps. The doors closed automatically behind her.

Arin and Dan looked at each other and smiled. “We raised a good kid,” Arin said.

Dan felt like he was going to cry. He could only nod and smile.

The couple headed back inside, their fingers laced together. “Should we go to school now?” Arin asked.

“Yeah. We’re already late.” Dan chuckled.

They got in the family car and drove to the middle school, then kissed quickly in the arts hallway before separating to enter their own classrooms. Knowing that one another were and always would be just across the hall.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, here we are. The part where I say goodbye. Thank you all so very much for reading and commenting and leaving kudos. I love you all with all my heart, you guys are the absolute best. I'm sad that this story is ending, but I'm happy with how it ended. Thank you all for embarking on this journey with me and supporting me every step of the way. If you guys liked this story, it'd mean a whole lot to me if you checked out my other shit... and I will have some new shit coming out soon! In fact, I'm starting a new story! (That's the special news.) It's going to be called 'Grumpy Tales' and every chapter is going to be based on a different fairy tale, featuring the Grumps. I'm so excited about it and I hope you guys'll check it out when I post it! Also I'll be posting more one-shots and stuff, so keep an eye out for that. Okay, I have to go to sleep now. But I love you all more than I can possibly put into words and I can't thank you more for reading this story. Farewell my loves! XOXO Holly

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry if this sucked. I promise it will get more exciting in coming chapters! Farewell!


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